Anyone not losing due to emotional eating/eating around band?

mandi78 · 03-29-2008, 01:22 AM

I am really struggling and I am so disappointed in myself. I was banded in September and have not even lost 30 pounds yet. I have actually gained a few recently and have really only lost around 20 pounds. I am an emotional eater, I knew this before I was banded but had been in therapy almost 2 years and thought I could do it. Well, I was wrong. I have figured out ways to eat around the band and that's exactly what I'm doing. Is anyone else struggling with this? It's an addiction.....I just can't stop myself from the chips, dip, chocolate, cheese, anything fattening or starchy that I can get down. I finally got restriction with my last fill but wound up vomiting several times daily and still, I would eat whenever and whatever I could get down. Now, it's loosened up again and I can eat more even though I haven't lost any weight. I was exercising but have slacked off. However, even when I was exercising (and I was busting my butt in the gym) I still wasn't losing because I can't get control over my eating. I am so embarrassed and ashamed, I know people are thinking "she had weight loss surgery and she's barely lost any weight at all". I'm so humiliated. I'm still in therapy and it's helping me emotionally but I just can't seem to get over my addiction to food. Any suggestions besides "just stop"? I've tried, believe me.

AthinnerDenise · 03-29-2008, 02:22 AM

Get the book The Beck Diet Solution. I got it at Amazon.com for $9.

It has helped me a lot. It's not a diet. It helps with emotional eating.

girlie2shooz · 03-29-2008, 09:29 AM

weightloss is not easy, no matter what way we go about it. this may sound crazy, but have you tried not having the temptation around? how about just shopping for nothing but good healthy food and take that bad stuff out and throw it in the trash. make sure you throw some real stinky garbage on top, so you don't try to salvage what you threw out. you will gain strength from taking control and getting rid of the junk. keep up the vigil................g2s

FairyFacade · 03-29-2008, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlie2shooz

weightloss is not easy, no matter what way we go about it. this may sound crazy, but have you tried not having the temptation around? how about just shopping for nothing but good healthy food and take that bad stuff out and throw it in the trash. make sure you throw some real stinky garbage on top, so you don't try to salvage what you threw out. you will gain strength from taking control and getting rid of the junk. keep up the vigil................g2s

I 2nd that. I can't control temptation for the most part, if I see it and have it, I'll eat it! (Cookies, chips, etc.).
I can't keep it in the house. If I want a splurge, I have to go out and get it, which makes it a rare occasion.
When I feel in a snacking mood, if I go to the cabinets and it's oreos or celery, I'd pick oreos. If it's celery, grapes, or carrots.. I'd pick one of those.

MollyMolly · 03-29-2008, 12:24 PM

I'll second both recommendations (get rid of temptation and the Beck Diet Solution) and add a third:

write down everything you eat. Document every bite of candy, chips, cookies, etc. that goes into your mouth during the day. Calorie Counter, Diet Tracking, Food Journal, Nutrition Facts at The Daily Plate is free, I recommend that one. FitDay also works but you will find yourself entering a lot of data manually.

There's something about seeing the numbers and the nutritional breakdown that's motivating. At least to me.

Oh, and with The Beck Diet Solution? Do every exercise. Don't skip anything. Get a pack of 3x5 cards and write down what you need to. I've got a big stack I read through every day.

coolcrystal · 03-29-2008, 12:29 PM

Mandi - nobody on this site should judge you, period! If it was easy none of us would have gotten the band in the first place. Somebody might say "just stop eating that food" or "work out more", but they aren't you and we all have our own struggles we are working through to make this band work for us.

There is nothing I can really say to inspire you, other than, there comes a moment of clarity for all of us that we just say "this is it, I'm gonna do it" and we do it. I think it comes at different stages for all of us. shoot, who knows where I'll be in 6 months. I might fall off the bandwagon and be eating carbs all the time and mcdonalds breakfast sandwhiches again. So I'm the last person that will preach to you. But I will pray that you find that one moment of clarity, that moment where you say "ok, i'm doing it now".

And the last thing I wanted to say to you is though you don't think your 27 pounds is a lot, that's almost 5 pounds a month which is more than a pound a week! That is a healthy amount to lose.

Perhaps a fill can also help if you haven't gotten one in a while. I wish you all the best.

Big hugs!

brandyII · 03-29-2008, 12:33 PM

Mandi78,

I have issues with eating the wrong foods also but thought that they would be just as difficult to eat as the good food were but found out I was wrong. I'm always open for suggestions now and feel somewhat powerless at times but I might check out that Beck Diet Solution book since so many people are reccomending it also. Don't feel too bad I'm 7 months post surgery and have gained back all but about 5 pounds from my original loss (20 all together) but everything can turn around. Good luck to you too Brandy II.

Anyone with suggestions on how to get a picture up there? I want a cute picture of a bulldog puppy, thanks brandyII.

mandi78 · 03-29-2008, 12:38 PM

Every time I buy unhealthy food (chips, cookies, whatever) I tell myself I’m not buying this stuff anymore but it’s like I don’t even know what I’m doing, I just go nuts putting the stuff in the basket and when I get home, I realize what I’ve done and I’m so mad at myself. It’s ridiculous. When I do try to eat right, my food obsessed co-workers make it very difficult. I get very angry and pissed off at them because they are eating what I want to eat and they can’t just eat it, they have to talk about it for hours on end as well. I am so irritable and cranky and miserable when I try to eat healthy that it just doesn’t seem worth it. And I just love it how all these books and weight loss experts say “go for a walk, call a friend, take a bath to keep your mind off eating”. Well, guess what? I can’t fit in the bathtub, when I try to walk, everything hurts and I have very few friends…..all of which remind me of how limited and pathetic I am and makes me want to eat even more.

girlie2shooz · 03-29-2008, 12:47 PM

well then i guess they don't really qualify as friends do they? remove yourself from what irritates/depresses/saddens you and you have half the battle whipped. don't expect others to change, but you can change your environment. take baby steps and take one day at a time. and you know what, the whole world can kiss your a$$, you do what is best for you. g2s

brandyII · 03-29-2008, 12:54 PM

Mandi,

I'm no expert and I try not to preach either because I know how obnoxious that is to hear! I'm just a person who struggles with it too and I can't even put up one of those d%%%m weight strips because mine went down then up again so who wants that on the site? Anywho, my trademark word, do you find it's much more difficult the weeks before your period, I'm a six week cycle person so it seems that my cravings last longer than a person who gets their period every 4 weeks. I do tend to do better when I'm no in that PMS phase of my cycle. I don't know if you feel that makes a difference.

Either way I know it's hard and I even try to walk on the treadmill but like you that bs about calling a friend, take a walk, buy yourself something pretty does not work for me and I wish that it did.

Also I don't work now but when I did work in an office they can be the worse sabotagers of your weight loss and you feel like they're breathing down your neck and you end up getting paranoid if you eat something they're frickn judging you all the time. You have to get a tough skin, I was told that by someone who I felt I could trust, and blow them off in your mind somehow. Maybe that did sound somewhat preachy but I know how annoying people can get especially if they comment all the time on the surgery. Now I know why Star Jones didn't tell anyone, she was smart! Anyway, I think weight loss can come in waves so we know we're not perfect so we have to say to ourselves that we're doing the best we can and if something isn't working that we think should then we'll try something else or ask an "expert". But so far I think you're doing a great job and probably just hit a bad pot hole in the road, who knows tomorrow you may see things in a whole different light, good luck we're all pulling for you, brandyII, sorry I was so wordy I get that way sometimes! lol.

coolcrystal · 03-29-2008, 01:01 PM

I'm confused brandyII, you referred to yourself twice as if you were talking to yourself?? is there another user named brandyII that I don't 'see?

brandyII · 03-29-2008, 01:04 PM

I was signing off as brandyII but then became talkative again afterwards, as far as I know I am the one and only brandyII!

AthinnerDenise · 03-29-2008, 03:18 PM

I don't keep anything junky in the house either. If I am going to have a snack, it's usually a sugar free popsicle or sugar free fudgesicle.

There are getting to be more and more low calorie things to snack on
when the head hunger is raging.

luluc · 03-29-2008, 04:04 PM

Mandi - You need to remove the negative friends & non supportive people around you like the junk food in the house. I somehow snapped my emotional eating by fixating on a healthy fit body to live in - and by doing so, there a LOT of former co-workers / friends & family that' I've just checked from - while I'm on my mission to get healthy.
I don't know what will work for you - but I am in the DFW area, and would help you out along the way.

BabyNicole · 03-29-2008, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luluc

Mandi - You need to remove the negative friends & non supportive people around you like the junk food in the house. I somehow snapped my emotional eating by fixating on a healthy fit body to live in - and by doing so, there a LOT of former co-workers / friends & family that' I've just checked from - while I'm on my mission to get healthy.
I don't know what will work for you - but I am in the DFW area, and would help you out along the way.

I was thinking the same thing about the friends! "Friends" are supposed to support you, NOT make you feel like crap! Or course, they don't always have to agree with what you do, but they shouldn't put you down because of it. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I haven't been banded yet, so I can't help with the eating portion. I'd just spend some time on this forum to get the support you need. Hugs to you!