Am I A Failure?

July5forMe · 04-09-2008, 06:58 PM

I'm going on 2 years with my band. I was up to 40 lbs lost and now I'm back. I feel one day I'll be back where I started and then one day be heavier than the day I was on my surgery date.

I don't know why I just assumed that I was going to be successful. I guess I just though was a stronger person and was just going to do it. I was obviously wrong. Does that mean I'm a failure?

I kept the appointment. I got the fills. My weight loss was slow or just stopped all together. I couldn't stand to keep the appointments and just continue feeling as if I couldn't lose the weight.

So, I only blame myself now because I don't go to the doctor. I haven't been in about a year now. I've been battling depression for the past year and I could only handle one thing at a time. Now that I've got my depression under control I'm debating whether or not I should start focusing on my weight loss.

Has anyone else had a problem with depression after getting banded? Sometimes I feel like my depression may have been triggered by me losing my relationship with food.

Any advise would help. I don't go to support groups and I don't know anyone else who is banded. I hate to ask but support would be great and any advise I can get.

betrthnever · 04-09-2008, 07:52 PM

Jessica, sounds like you need to see your Dr! You could have something wrong with the band itself. Sorry you're going through such a hard time

wombat712 · 04-09-2008, 09:00 PM

Jessica - I think you are correct on the depression being partly from your lost relationship with food. You need support, either on here, in a local group, or your doctor's office!!

As fabulous as my DH is, I would not have survived without this board and al the fabulous people on HERE!! They have been so willing to answer questions, lend support, give encouragement, empathize - you name it!!!

{{hugs}} for you!!
Gen (wombat)

mstrina27 · 04-09-2008, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by July5forMe

I'm going on 2 years with my band. I was up to 40 lbs lost and now I'm back. I feel one day I'll be back where I started and then one day be heavier than the day I was on my surgery date.

I don't know why I just assumed that I was going to be successful. I guess I just though was a stronger person and was just going to do it. I was obviously wrong. Does that mean I'm a failure?

I kept the appointment. I got the fills. My weight loss was slow or just stopped all together. I couldn't stand to keep the appointments and just continue feeling as if I couldn't lose the weight.

So, I only blame myself now because I don't go to the doctor. I haven't been in about a year now. I've been battling depression for the past year and I could only handle one thing at a time. Now that I've got my depression under control I'm debating whether or not I should start focusing on my weight loss.

Has anyone else had a problem with depression after getting banded? Sometimes I feel like my depression may have been triggered by me losing my relationship with food.

Any advise would help. I don't go to support groups and I don't know anyone else who is banded. I hate to ask but support would be great and any advise I can get.

What kind of support system do u have at home. Just know that U ARE NOT A FAILURE.... If you made it to another day... u have 1 more chance to get it right.... u feel me... Don't ever think that you are a failure ever... U need the right people around you that are going to keep u motivated.. and workout with you and not tempt u to eat the wrong things.... The hell with thinking that u are a failure... that is a state of mind... get up brush your sholders off make a Dr's Appointment and start again....

rharriet62 · 04-09-2008, 09:34 PM

NOT A FAILURE!!! Thank goodness you have your depression under control! Now, you can focus on YOU again! YAHOO!!! I have been banded 3.5 years, and I went through a year last year where I wasn't losing much at all. I got into the mode of deciding I was going to lose and really USE my band again...even tho I had been working out like crazy, I wasn't eating right and so wasn't losing. Anyway, I got a body bugg and started using it to log my food and MAGICALLY I started losing again! I've lost the 10 lbs I gained back plus about 15 more since Jan 1 and I am thrilled! That is more than I lost in all of 2007. My point is to let you know you are not the only one to have these issues...and it's all there when you are ready to use it!!! Let us know how you are doing!!!

July5forMe · 04-15-2008, 12:23 AM

well thanks for all the posts. I don't know what I need or what I am looking for when I put what i'm going through out there like that.
Everything you all say is right. It's like i know it but why am I not acting on it or doing what needs to be done.
I feel so overwhelmed with so many things right now. My mom says women can take on a whole lot more than men and still succeed. Which I've witness first had myself. I'm going thru so much.
I got layed from my job while on disability for my depression. (lets say that was a set back)that happened in November.
I didn't get released by my doctor until this Feb 08.
so.....
layed off because of depression
got depresson under control in about 3 month. still working on it everyday
going to school fulltime. I have to make something of myself. This is the only thing I am happy about. its a burden at times but I won't give it up.
I have to do the mom/wife stuff. housework, homework, pet care, dinner, driver, pretty much everything at home.

I don't work right now because i want to get as far as i can in school and maybe i'll look for something in aug. I'm hoping to have a schedule and everthing undercontrol then. Right?

I know I need to go see my doctor. I feel like I've let him down though. He's a very nice guy. Had good predictions for me. and here I am almost the same weight I was when he operated on me. It's so embarrassing. How can you face your doctor like that? <<<----- advice on this is greatly needed as well.
well, i've revealed awhole lot more of myself than i thought i needed to. so thanks again for everyones advice. I appreciated it anytime some takes the time to read my post and actually say something. it means a whole lot.

mylapspirit · 04-15-2008, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by July5forMe

I know I need to go see my doctor. I feel like I've let him down though. He's a very nice guy. Had good predictions for me. and here I am almost the same weight I was when he operated on me. It's so embarrassing. How can you face your doctor like that? <<<----- advice on this is greatly needed as well.
well, i've revealed awhole lot more of myself than i thought i needed to. so thanks again for everyones advice. I appreciated it anytime some takes the time to read my post and actually say something. it means a whole lot.

If your Doctor is a nice guy and is a good doctor he will understand that you are human. Explain your depression to him - he might have some suggestions to help you. You are paying him for a service and he wants you to succeed. Recently at our support meeting the surgeon said that the people who show up to their follow up appointments are the ones that succeed. The LAP-BAND® is a lifetime commitment to better health. It is a tool not a miracle device. Use all the resources you have at your fingertips. Maybe you need a fill. Maybe your doctor uses a nutritionist - go see her. If you can make it to your support groups by all means go, listen, talk, and learn. Do you keep a food journal? It has been proven that this leads to permanent weight loss success. Can you give up all simple carbohydrates for 5 to 7 days? These simple carbs can actually cause cravings that you have no control over. Come to this support board daily and read and learn. Don't give up - don't ever give up. You are young - you have your whole life ahead of you and I can tell you that Life is better with the Band. I hope you find the answers you are looking for - we are here for you!
shelli