Why is my journey SO long?

MrsFlipFlops · 03-09-2008, 08:39 PM

Hi all! I figured I'd start a new thread! :)

I'm discouraged today. I've lost 25 pounds since the start of my PreOp diet to now- a few weeks post op. Yet, no one can really notice and my clothes aren't looser yet. 25 pounds, when I consider my starting weight of 380, seems so insignificant. And when I stop to think that we should lose 1-2 pounds a week... well, I'm SO DISCOURAGED! At that rate it seems like a lifetime!

I understood before surgery this was what was going to happen, I'm still glad I got the surgery... but every once in awhile, when I'm thinking about the end of the journey and not the day to day, I think WOW, this really is a lifetime battle. Sometimes I feel tired of fighting the good fight.

So that brings me to my question--- what does everyone do to overcome their moments of discouragement and feelings of "what's the point?" as I'm currently going through???

**Jack** · 03-09-2008, 09:26 PM

heidabear:

re: "when I'm thinking about the end of the journey and not the day to day, I think WOW, this really is a lifetime battle. Sometimes I feel tired of fighting the good fight"...

First, IMHO, there IS no 'end of the journey'. Every day is day-to-day.
And it becomes routine, not a battle at all. And I used to get tired fighting with myself also.

Re: "what does everyone do to overcome their moments of discouragement and feelings of "what's the point?"

The point is...every day we get the opportunity to walk in Light. We get the chance to start the day with no monkey on our backs, trying to over feed us. The point, IMHO, is that we have to give up old habits of over eating and over stuffing, and learn how to eat JUST the right amount without regrets. It happens.

re: "as I'm currently going through???"
This too shall come to pass....only not until you are reallyreallyReallyReallyREALLY tired of fighting...and accept your new Life and your new Eating Behavior....

"Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" is more than a bumper sticker...

mmcbelle · 03-10-2008, 12:15 PM

Hi heidabear,

It is actually getting to the point of being able to manage my struggles with overeating that helps me get through this. In the beginning I had to look for the postives everywhere I could and a couple of things always rose to the top of that list.
1. I am no longer moving up the scale. For the past 15 or so year it has been consistanly upward with a few downward spikes that resulted in gain of what I had lost and more.

2. To merely look at what I can eat. Before the band I would eat a whole plate in a restaurant and everything is bigger in texas, very rarely is a plate anything smaller than a platter or a 15" round plate. Now, I usually have to go with the kids meal or soup or salad and that is too much some days...it feels good to not eat so much.

3. Often when I get a fill, I have to revisit my relationship with food and it slays me that I have to keep learning this lesson over and over. I over eat and I will have to deal with that the rest of my life, but having the band makes it easier because it forces me to face the issue and I have learned.

4. I have learned so many other ways to deal/cope with my stress other than food. I had to, eating is no longer a choice. I use exercise, these forums, talking with my friends and family, a nice hot shower with a good cry and prayer to help me cope with stress now and one of those things always works.

I believe you will get to a point where you look forward to the future and not fear the journey. It is weird and wonderful and you can do it. You will figure it out. It is a great sign that you posted here and are considering the advice of others.

Best wishes,
Mary

jena · 03-11-2008, 03:38 PM

heidabear,
Do YOU notice a difference in your clothes? You will probably be the first to notice.

I bet part of the problem is you are continuing to wear the same clothes that are getting baggy. If you don't update your wardrobe with a few new pieces, it will take until they are falling off of you before someone notices.

Wal-Mart is a good place to go to pick up some t-shirts and jeans or slacks at a pretty good price that won't break the bank. When I'm losing weight, i only buy sale items, discounted items and cheap clothes because I figure I won't be wearing them for long.

Get rid of those baggy clothes, girl!!

Jena
Getting banded hopefully at the end of April!

**Wheetsin** · 03-11-2008, 03:49 PM

Hi Hiedabear, my starting weight was 382 so we were probably in similar situations. Other people noticing wasn't terribly important to me, but it was a good 40 - 50 lbs before anyone really began to notice. Then, everyone noticed, almost overnight. Now if I see someone I haven't seen since surgery or shortly after, they will literally walk right past me. Even people I worked with for years.

Feelings of what's the point -- don't really have them. I've had stages of discouragement, and either I muck my way through them or I step it up, lose a few more lbs, and find some motivation in that.

1 - 2 lbs per week is a long-term average, not a week-by-week goal. Initially most people lose faster than that, and once a ways out most people lose more slowly than that.

Trust me, I know what it looks like to have that much weigh to lose, and wonder if you can ever do it. Maybe you get all the way there, and maybe you don't, but either way isn't it a heck of a lot better than where you started?

MrsFlipFlops · 03-11-2008, 08:21 PM

This was a lot of great advice and thoughts. Thank you SO much!

"I believe you will get to a point where you look forward to the future and not fear the journey" I loved this quote.

And it's true... Wheet... being here is way better than I was before, simply by having just a little more energy. I'm so hard on myself sometimes. When I overeat I think about it and say mean things about myself! :)

Jena- I bought a shirt at WalMart, my normal size... but my dad said to me "You look like you're swimming in that thing!" Just cause it was a little looser. Walmart is a good place to get things, maybe something spring-y will make me feel better. Each season I'll be a new size or something funky like that.

This was all great advice, thank you so much. It made me feel so much better.

maziemommy · 04-07-2008, 11:05 PM

A year is not so long.... I was 367# now 239#. My band-aversary was five days ago. Hang in there, and remember....you get out... what you put in.

MicheleK · 04-09-2008, 11:29 AM

Mazie, you are such an inspiration!! I know how you feel Flip, I haven't even been banded yet, (finishing up my 90day supervised diet). It sure feels like a LONG road ahead.

sil · 06-22-2008, 07:07 PM

oh hang in there, we are rooting for ya, wishing you well