Slow Losers - Unite!

CandySmooch · 11-20-2005, 11:17 PM

vines honey! it must be going around because I also am soooooo freakin bummed and sad and discouraged! You name it and I'm feeling it. I'm starting to realize your frustrations with tickers vines because everytime I lose a lb and get soo excited about changing my ticker a few days later that pound shows back up - sometimes 2-3lbs and I can't get my scale back down. my ticker says 281 but for the last week I've been back at 284...........aaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh. I am starting a food journal - something's gotta give!!!! I just had a fill 2 weeks ago - I have good restriction - I'm not eating alot but still the scale doesn't move. I eat a whole lot less than I did pre-band, yet still no weight loss or NSV's.

I'm sooo sad and yes sick of everyone else whining about how they're not losing when they've lost so much more than us! A girl who was banded the same day WITH ME and had a lot to lose like me admitted she doesn't excercise or drink as much water as she should and she's lost 45lbs and is all upset and here I am fighting for 11lbs :((((((( I really just want to scream F*CK THE WORLD! and I am totally not that type of person (well to at least say it out loud lol).

So many frustrations today - one just leads to another. I'm mad at my boyfriend for telling me I need to eat lite and drink more water - and he told me to do excercises while I'm at work! I told him I was not going to excercise in front of my co-workers in my uncomfortable work clothes and he says oh God forbid that! How can I be mad at him when really he's only telling the truth I already know..............it only re-inforces how I should be further along than I am. I was just hoping that the weight loss would bring the motivation needed for more excercise. I'm sad and discouraged - I've got to change some things because like I said I'm at a good level of restriction now so I can't say its because I haven't hit the sweet spot.

the best me · 11-20-2005, 11:35 PM

Vines and Candy...SIGH. I just don't know girls. I want to pump you up and encourage you and get you going and all that stuff, but I just don't have any wise advice for where you are. I only share that space with you. It's dark there, but I must admit I'm pretty good at keeping myself out of there.

I don't really know how...I guess what I do is just sit with my band a bit. I hold my head high, say to myself "this is MY band journey and I'll handle it in my own time as I see fit!" and do my best. I choose better, I try, I don't beat myself up, I stay realistic, I own my food and exercise (or lack of exercise) and just do some accepting of this time and place for me. I'm here, others are there, kicking and screaming doesn't help, neither does self-deprecation (of which I am Queen), and short bursts of an "I mean business!!!" attitude just fade. So, I trudge forward, just like the turtle I am, and just be banded.

My body fights it. It likes all this weight. I don't know why. My body just wants it. So as long as it doesn't pack it on, I just let it be for a bit.

Rest. Peace. Security. Confidence. Self-Assurance. Calm. Joy.

May it ooze through you from the inside out. That's about as Zen as I get. Pretty good, huh? hehe

Kim, good job on breaking through!! You all, my turtle sisters, are the best!!!

HarleyNana · 11-21-2005, 09:49 AM

Stop torturing yourselves with the scales, don't do it! There's your depression right there. I don't weigh but every other week, why, because I'd be depressed too. There are so many things that effect the scales, your weight loss and gain, such as muscle gain, which is a good thing.

I just posted in another thread, I encourage everyone to get that muscle vs fat test done. When I had gone for weeks without a loss, talk about depressed and thinking oh boy, failed again, I had that test done and I had gained 12 lbs of muscle, since then I've gained even more muscle. (don't know how, but I'll take the muscle gain over the fat gain). Get the test done, then you'll know if it's a good gain or a bad gain, then you can get depressed.

Good luck everyone, it is a sloooowww process, we knew that when we opted for this surgery as opposed to the bypass. I know when I see people that have lost 50 lbs since July or Aug, and I think OMG, what did I do wrong, it took me almost a year to lose that, but at least I didn't gain that 50 lbs.

We're all in this together. (I hope I didn't sound like I was fussing, LOL)

vinesqueen · 11-21-2005, 12:05 PM

of course part of my depression stems from the damn scales. I do use my body fat percentage anayizer more often than I step on the scales. I have changed my body fat percentage from more than 45% to about 41%. I know that this is good, my body knows this is good.

I am 8 months out, and I have lost one size. I went shopping the other night and was very disapointed to discover that while I can put on the size 18/20 tops at Lane Bryant, I look like I've been squished into a sausage casing. Not a flattering look for me. I know it works for somepeople, but it doesn't work for me. So, I still wear size 22/24 tops and bottoms. Still, after surgery and months of working really hard with my diet, nothing appears to have changed.

I cannot seem to get a good fill, I'm going for my 5th fill this afternoon. I have 3 ccs in my band, or at least that is how much has been put into my band. I don't have any restriction. Mike and I went out to dinner and he couldn't believe how much I was able to put away. Yes, it was less than I could have before my banding, but it was about as much as I could before my first fill.

I don't know, I had such bright and shining hope when I was first banded. I was sure that I was going to be something like a true size 16, or at the very least a true size 18. I figured that I would have lost close to 50 pounds and I'm not even close to that.

yes, I know all about the gains I've made, I track all my NSVs. I have lost 27 pounds, but most of that was water. This is just hard. I cannot handle that at my current rate that it will take me untill 2011 to lose what it takes some of our rabbits 6 months.

Carrie22803 · 11-21-2005, 02:36 PM

Oh, sweetheart. I know it's tough. Some days just suck, and that's the truth. Some weeks or months suck too. But eventually, even if you can't see it yet, there'll be a way out, and it won't suck anymore. I felt that way for awhile, thought maybe I should've gotten gastric, but then I decided to roll with it. I eventually started feeling better, and that's when the weight started coming off. I'm not sure of what to say, just know that we're all here for eachother and even though it's a slow and frustrating process, we can do it. Believe in yourself. I'll pray for you -
Carrie

Marimaru · 11-21-2005, 04:55 PM

Crystal,

I'm sorry you are down in the dumps. We all get that way I'm sure. And I'm sure you even get frustrated at some of us turtles who complain.

I'm not sure I have any good advice for you other than try and get yourself back comfortable with being a turtle.

Is it possible to switch PCP's? I know some doctors will give out thyroid medication when the thyroid is low even if it is "low, normal". I can't believe that yours wont considering all the other work you are doing to lose weight.

Something WILL give, or the laws of physics be damned. :)

Sarah

vinesqueen · 11-21-2005, 09:00 PM

I am completely shattered. I suppose that is what happens when you get really stressed about stuff. So today not only do I find out I've cracked a tooth and need to have at least one of my wisdom teeth removed, but more bad news from the surgeon.

I gained 5 pounds between fill 3 and 5. Turns out I don't have close to 3 ccs in my band, like I should--there was only 1 cc in the band. No idea where my other 2 ccs went. I go back in for a check on Wednesday to make sure there is still 2 ccs in my band in a couple of days.

HarleyNana · 11-21-2005, 09:13 PM

Oh no VQ! Does your doc use the flouro, mine doesn't and he missed the port completely the first fill, I was scared to death he'd punctured my tube, but since then he always withdraws existing fluid before inserting new.

Well at least you know it's not you, it's the lack of restriction.

What's the game plan if you've lost any of the fill?

vinesqueen · 11-22-2005, 10:17 AM

well, I don't know what the next step will be if I've lost fill. Well, I will need to have something replaced.

The first two fills were not done under fluro, but Jessie does not use it. She doesn't need it. Fills 3 & 4 were done under fluro, number 5 wasn't. If it is a slow leak then I it will show up on Wednesday, but I will need to check it also when I come home next in a month.

TrishS · 11-22-2005, 11:24 AM

Oh Crystal, I hope you dont have a leak... Thats how I found out I had a leak. He would put in 2ccs and only pull out 1cc... until he put in 3ccs and pulled out almost nothing... that day I went to get my fill. That was the reason I wasnt losing any weight, my restriction was very low.. or i had none at all. Think of it this way, if it is a leak then you will finally know why you are a slow loser... I wish you the best! and lets us know Wednesday right away.. I will be thinking about you!

Angeleyes · 11-22-2005, 01:07 PM

I just had a 2 1/2 pound loss and thought I would share this with you. In the last week I desided to try something that worked 10 years ago. I went on the Atkins induction diet for 4 days then did a liquid diet for one day, I used fruit juices. I just got a fill yesterday and I am back on fruit juices for at least another day. I haven't lost any weight for over two months so this is a really big loss for me. Hope this helps any of you that may be struggling as I am. I hope to be able to continue losing!

live2canoe · 11-23-2005, 05:47 PM

Crystal -

I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to respond sooner.

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!! You're band failed you. We all know the band is a tool and the tool doesn't work if there isn't a fill. Isn't that what we tell the newly banded before they get a few fills?

I hope the fix is easy and quick.

On the bright side, after you get your band 'up to speed' you just might become a Rabbit!! Oh I truly wish that for you!!

Good Luck

P.S. We couldn't ask for a better spokes turtle. Even if you become a rabbit - we hope you will still be our leader.

DevilMayKare · 11-23-2005, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vinesqueen

If it is a slow leak then I it will show up on Wednesday, but I will need to check it also when I come home next in a month.

So what's the verdict? Wednesday is today, right?

Lots of bad news on the board today. I'm almost afraid for when you check in... but do it anyway. If everything's okay we'll be grateful for you and if everything's not--we'll be grateful for YOU.

But Crystal, we all know it matters here in the corporeal world--but in the bigger picture of things... in the aura of the Universe if you will... your spirit is BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG no matter WHAT size body it's held in!

the best me · 11-23-2005, 08:37 PM

VQ, waiting for your report!!!

I feel the need to copy/paste what Michelle/La Madam posted on her "I'm eroded" thread...just for us slow losers so maybe we'll somehow find a way to help each other get our heads out of our asses.

"A word of advice for those of you struggling..get your head out of your ass and use this tool the best you can. Get a grip on those mental demons.dont let head hunger get the best of you ..I am so fortunate to have had the success I had but other who are as far out post op as Iam may not have had such great success so I tell you from the bottom of my heart, lose as much weight as you can while you still have your band...dont mess around with this..Erosion can happen to any of you regardless if you follow the rules and are a perfect bandster at any time "

Hell if I don't keep reading that in my head. All day. Since she posted it. How are you all dealing with this info lately? I'm reeling...I have to be honest. Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t. And I don't cuss much.

DevilMayKare · 11-23-2005, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the best me

I'm reeling...I have to be honest. Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t. And I don't cuss much.

Really!! First Kelly says "Crap" and now Kathy says "Sh*t" -- pretty soon the LBT forum will have you Christians saying DAMN and then all H -E- Double Toothpicks'll break out!

Just a little levity...

(we all need a bit of it, doncha think?)