Slow Losers - Unite!

CandySmooch · 11-06-2005, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the best me

Candy, I get those same feelings, too...like this is my last chance and hurry up and lose the weight so if I erode and lose my band...I'll have "fixed myself" enough and maybe I won't gain it back. I'm in a hurry!!! And that's why. "what if I lose my band". Ouch.

Yes that's it - even voicing it out loud makes my heart skip a beat - and starts the anxiety all over again !

kozmic_tulip · 11-07-2005, 04:56 PM

Hi Carrie
Your post really hit me. I know what you’re saying about your relationship with food. It is very emotional for me too. But, is it just the food?
At one point in my journey to be thinner and healthier, I joined Overeaters Anonymous, they have some terrific literature, I recommend it to anyone who wonders why they are obsessed with food (and it can be purchased on Amazon). I wish that I would have held on to some of the books now. You may find some insight in the information. You may find out why you feel like you do about food. The literature will suggest tools to get you into control and help you to focus on a new ways of thinking about eating and living.
Perhaps you could even attend an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and find other peoples stories helpful in your pursuit. I don’t live in the states anymore, so meetings are no longer an option for me, (short of joining Weight Watchers, no thanks!)

I really feel like I need others I could share my struggles with. This site does give me some fellowship, but a support group would really be a great comfort. I don’t know what I expected really. But, I guess I thought that after the surgery, I would take better control of my food than I have. You know, even writing this and admitting I am struggling to others really makes me feel like loads better. I sometime see what I need to do, but I don’t seem to find that ‘thing’ that actually makes me get up off my ass and do it! I feel scared sometimes, more so lately. I’m 47, this is like a last chance to still be young enough to enjoy life with out limitation, but yet I still allow myself to remian limited. I wish I understood why.
Your right, doing it alone is down right hard, but remember...there is power in numbers. You don’t have to be alone.

I wish you all the best! :)

11-07-2005, 07:59 PM

Madonna,

I totally relate, I have lost 12 pounds in two years. My bandiversary is the 18th of this month. I started at 237, got as low as 202 and am now back to 225. AAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

CandySmooch,

I do love Dr. Malley, he's very kind. I'm so glad he left that clinic that wanted to charge us $2000 a year for fills. Are they crazy???

Carrie,

I almost cried when I read your post. There's a show on TLC called "I Lost It" about people's weight loss stories. It showed a man binging on cookies, ice cream and cake and I thought to myself, that is so sad. Then I realized, that could be me, I do that, and isn't it sad when I do it too? It was, as Oprah would say, an A-HA moment. My mind needs to be banded. I need to act like a bandster. I eat without thinking, without feeling, without any planning or forethought. My husband wants me to have the band removed because he's tired of me leaving the table to gag in the bathroom because something's stuck that I shouldn't have eaten in the first place. I continue to look for the answers in other places. I think, maybe I should try Jenny Craig again, or how about Weight Watchers, or maybe I should have the gastric bypass? The truth is, none of these will work because my mind is what needs to change. Do I really need someone else to tell me to eat more fruits and vegetables and lean protein? Do I really need someone else to tell me I shouldn't eat ice cream on a daily basis or stop at Starbucks every morning for a full-fat White Chocolate Mocha with whipped cream (Grande no less)? I don't need someone to tell me these things. I need to kick myself in the ass and live up to the promise I made to myself and my husband when we forked out $10,000 for this band. I need to take responsibility and become the person that I want to be and need to be for my family.

Okay, so here's my first suggestion for myself and anyone else who may benefit. Since I eat mindlessly I am going to buy a medical ID bracelet, make a pretty beaded band for it and wear it on my right wrist so that every time I take a bite of something I am reminded that I am a bandster and a turtle and damnit, I can do this!!!!!

Does anyone else have a suggestion to share? Sorry guys, I got a little fired up, but boy do I feel better!

Weezie

the best me · 11-07-2005, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weezie724

I am reminded that I am a bandster and a turtle and damnit, I can do this!!!!!
Weezie

You go girl! Get fired up again, you can do this!!! What's the chance of you being a tad too tight? If you are PBing, etc...could it be? Or are you just eating badly, poorly, wrong..etc? Just wonderin'.

I HATE this brain banding idea, but it's so true. The band helps, but it doesn't do all the work. I'm posting some more on the brain-banding thread noted above...ya'll come over there with your slow turtle selves and process with me!

kozmic_tulip · 11-08-2005, 03:04 AM

With Overeaters Anonymous, it is not about diet but about controlling and identifying the 'head hungry triggers vs. stomach hungry' (and it is by donation, not a set fee, like diet clubs) In regards to diet, their only suggestion is to avoid sugar and white flour. The reason for this is they are known to trigger cravings. The don't suggest any food plans. The advantages are helping people to get through 'one day at a time' and take a personal journey to find out why food has such an emotional impact on their lives. And best of all, to come together and share expierences and give support.

I like the bracelet idea, any thing to remind us why we are going through all of this. Visuals are a good reminder.

vinesqueen · 11-12-2005, 10:42 AM

Hello fellow members of the Turtle Tribe. I thought it would be a good time to check in. How is everyone doing? Anyone get a fill and suddenly see a great loss? Anyone make a mental breakthrough?

I am currently at peace with being a Turtle. I'm doing everything in my power to lose weight. And yet I'm still not losing weight. So. There is obviouly something more at work. Maybe I have a lot of head work that I need to do before I can release the weight. Maybe there is some emotional work I havent done, and that is why I'm still holding onto the weight. Maybe there is some phychic component that hasn't been addressed.

So, just about the only thing I haven't tried is to "let go and let god."

Yesterday I had my second reconnective therapy session. The first one I had last spring and just had my second one. I decided that for my major reward for breaking past the Morbidly Obeast phase I would do some more of the reconnective work. Since the session yesterday I am filled with a sense of peace and acceptance.

Oh don't get me wrong, I am NOT giving up. I'm just letting go. I obviously don't have control of my weight loss. So. I just keep on doing what I'm doing, on the physical level. I will still work the physical, there is no reason to not work the physical, since even though it is slow progress, it is still progress.

When I gave up looking for a man is when I found my husband. Maybe when I give up my stress over losing weight, I will find success there too.

Paula L. · 11-12-2005, 01:27 PM

Hi - well definitely count me in - lost 30 lbs first three months but since I have gained 15, so 13 months after banding - down 15 lbs.

Paula L.

kozmic_tulip · 11-13-2005, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vinesqueen

So, just about the only thing I haven't tried is to "let go and let god."

I can see that OA has been used by fellow banders! (They do offer great information and support) Thanks to the internet, I am having some success finding OA organizations here in England, it's now down to finding one in my area. I wrote a couple of emails, fingers crossed that I'll hear back soon.

I am struggling to keep a focus, I'm feeling very anxious. This has resulted in my loosing site of the positives in this journey I'm on. I suppose I need a good kick up the keester or sumpthin, it seems I'm falling and I can't seem to catch myself this time. And I don't know what to do to fix it. I don't know where to turn.

I feel very alone....

live2canoe · 11-13-2005, 12:38 PM

Hey Vines,

No significant loss to report, or mental break through.

I have though, come to the same place you are - I just have to be content with being a turtle. I'm not giving up either - just not going to beat myself up for my very very slow weight loss.

With that in mind, I took five pairs of pants to the tailor. It cost me almost as much as buying new - but these now fit me very well and I look great in them. One of the advantages of being a turtle is that I don't have to worry about changing sizes too rapidly!

live2canoe · 11-13-2005, 12:39 PM

Paula - Have you had a fill yet? If you haven't had a fill, you can expect to gain back wht you lost on the liquid diet.

In any event - welcome aboard our turtle train.

vinesqueen · 11-13-2005, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kozmic_tulip

I am struggling to keep a focus, I'm feeling very anxious. This has resulted in my loosing site of the positives in this journey I'm on. I suppose I need a good kick up the keester or sumpthin, it seems I'm falling and I can't seem to catch myself this time. And I don't know what to do to fix it. I don't know where to turn.

I feel very alone....

Well, now that you are here, you are never alone. LBT is truely Global, so you don't need to feel alone.

Kozmic, I don't know if you have started your list of NSVs. That's required homework for all members of the Turtle Tribe. (And I highly encourage it for the rabbits too!) The scale cannot be our only measure for success. If that is all of it, then we lose sight of what we've actually accomplished. We've really accomplished so much but if we dont track it, if we are not mindful, we don't see it. Sort of only seeing the forest, and missing not only the trees, but the wonderful underbrush.

You might need to read your NSVs daily for a while. to see and accept what you've actually accomplished.Take a look at some of the lists other turtles have posted, look through the "NSV anyone" thread in the lounge for some ideas.

Madonna · 11-15-2005, 01:03 PM

Hi Everyone,

I lost a pound!!! Got a fill last week...still think I need a little tweeking but I'm not gonna complain too much. NSV--I can wear my wedding ring again and not turn my finger purple or use soap to get it off!!!

Have question for those of you who were banded in Mexico. Who was your surgeon and where was the surgery and was it a good, fair or bad experience. My girlfried wants to go across the border but is not sure which surgeon to choose.

Keep moving turtles and thanks for all the inspiration you give me.

vinesqueen · 11-15-2005, 01:15 PM

Excellent work Madonna! Bit by bit, ounce by ounce we will get to our goals. I'm scheduled for my 5th fill next week, and I'm gonna talk to my surgeon to see if he can figure out why I have lost 7 pounds in 6 months. I didn't lose any weight since fills 3 & 4.

I can eat pizza and cheese burgers with a supposed fill level of 2.8-3. I lost all restriction a week after my last fill. they only seem to last me about a week, then I lose all restriction.

the best me · 11-15-2005, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vinesqueen

Hello fellow members of the Turtle Tribe. I thought it would be a good time to check in. How is everyone doing? Anyone get a fill and suddenly see a great loss? Anyone make a mental breakthrough?

You are doing great work Vines: O Great Mother of the Turtles. Thanks for all the inspiration!

I have been pretty faithful posting my NSV's...got some good ones once I started thinking about it. Thanks for that! The Fall Challenge has ended and I still need to post a pic but I can use the Before pic for my After pic, in true turtle fashion. I lost 6.4 pounds. Ah well. I did post "what I learned" on that thread and I'll copy/paste here, since you asked about mental breakthroughs...
________
Things I have learned this challenge: don't skip breakfast and drink coffee all morning. Eat lunch before noon...don't wait until 2pm. Eat several healthy snacks in the afternoon, at least every 2 hours after lunch: a yogurt, 1/2 banana w/ peanut butter, an apple, or some sliced deli turkey...it curbs my appetite at dinner and I don't scarf as much as possible. Eat a small dinner by 7pm and nothing else after. 'Cept coffee if I want, which I usually do. Search for 1200 calories as best I can, which is actually hard when I eat as listed above. WOW!

I have been busy banding my brain and it's helping. I don't need a fill. My restriction is great...not too little, not too much. I need to choose better. I know I have lost a few more inches all over and I have been posting my NSV's too. All good stuff.
________

I have been thinking like my mother...OMGosh, say it isn't so!!!! She has always had some cute gem of diet advice along the road..."just eat a 1/2 a banana with about a tablespoon of peanut butter for a snack, it helps tide you over till dinner" blah blah blah. She never understood, and I never understood the kind of thinking it took to be able to follow good healthy eating advice. A half a banana??? Who the hell eats a HALF a Banana!!!!!

Well, me! Now that I'm banded. So, there is hope. I'm doing this thing and I may be a turtle, but by golly, I'll get there!!

Keep forging forward everyone!!!

And Kozmic...you are NOT alone! You can't come here and say that. Nope. Not allowed. ((((hugs)))))

Madonna · 11-15-2005, 02:27 PM

Vines,
Could there be a leak of some sort in your band...I hope not. Are you taking any meds to prevent esophagitis or reflux? Sometimes, if you reflux, you will develop edema at the site of restriction, then when the swelling goes away the band will not be tight enough. To prevent the swelling and reflux you could take prilosec otc daily or even Zantac.

Thanks for your thoughts and inspiration.

Slow Losers - Unite!

Getting the right mind set