AT LAST!! I no longer have 100lb to lose!

Fanny Adams · 05-17-2008, 08:43 PM

Whoohooo!!! Ok, it might not be as big a deal as losing 100lb but I'll get to that milestone too, in time! It has felt like it's been forever that I've had to look at that number and say "I have over 100lb to lose...over 100lb!!" But NO MORE! I probably could have said it a while back if I hadn't been quite so ambitious in setting my goal weight, but if I had done so I think I would have felt I was cheating and would have known it wasn't really true.

A target of 60kg (135lb) is quite ambitious but I have been there before. In fact, the first time I got UP to that weight I cried my eyes out and started this whole yoyo dieting that got me into this mess in the first place. I was 21 at the time and had a 2 year old daughter, so it wasn't even pregnancy that did it to me. At 20, with a 1 year old, I was only 54kg (120lb) but I don't want to get back there. I think, at 45, I would be too thin at that weight. I am only 5ft 3in, so 60kg is a BMI of 23, which is right smack inside the normal BMI range.

OMG, I am starting to really believe that this can happen for me!

kathystrick · 05-17-2008, 10:05 PM

I know it must feel awesome to have that weight loss goal out of the triple digits. Good for you! Keep up the good work!!

Fanny Adams · 05-18-2008, 04:18 AM

Thanks! And I just realised another thing - I AM NO LONGER MORBIDLY OBESE!!! Ok, I'm now Severely Obese, but that's an improvement from "Morbidly"!! God, but I hated that label!

kathystrick · 05-19-2008, 12:37 PM

I do too. Makes it sound like you're knocking on death's door or something!

gone 4 ever · 05-19-2008, 12:53 PM

Congrats Fanny! That is awesome! Keep up the fantastic work.

Kate Eryn · 05-20-2008, 07:26 PM

LMAO - whenever I heard "morbidly obese" i kept thinking people saw me as a very fat, moody, sullen goth girl obsessed with fat and food like goth girls are obsessed with black lipstick. haha.

Welcome Fanny!!! I'm so happy to see ya here in two-digits-land :D

Yaherd · 05-23-2008, 08:39 AM

Kate,, question from a newbie.. I am one week into this... how will I feel in 3 months? Will I always be aware that I am banded or will I be a normal person that is eating they way I have learned to eat with my band and going on with normal everyday life? How long have you had your band? and do you have to have any maintance?

Kate Eryn · 05-23-2008, 09:09 AM

Hey Yaherd...

Well my journey's pretty unique. As you can see it's been 3.5 years and I'm still 193. My band mentor dropped all her excess weight in a year...mine's taking longer. Here's a timeline:

Nov 04 - Banded, loving life.

Dec 04 - still OK, able to eat a little more food. Hungry by end of month. Hungry after 1 week of surgery, I bounced back fast...couldn't last more than 1 week on liquids.

Jan 05 - 1st fill, didn't give any restriction. Started eating unconsciously here and there. HUNGRY.

Feb 05 - Now in a depression because the "surgery" feeling had left, I felt like me, was still hungry, and just trying NOT to eat, which felt like every diet I'd been on since I was 8, cried a lot, thought I wasted my life. 2nd fill, still hungry, couldn't last 2 days on liquids.

Mar 05 - Got over some of the depression, tried to be positive, this was going to be a process. Still fell off the wagon. Eating full Wendy's meals, but not gaining. Total weight loss since surgery: 11 lbs.

Apr 05 - MAGIC FILL - took me off guard, had "accepted" the band and was on liquids for 2 days with no problem, didn't realize it had changed for me until I popped a piece of Cinnabon and it got stuck. First stuck food. Thought I was choking to death, cried, avoided barfing...sliming up a storm...pacing back and forth...finally let it go, felt amazing...Forgot about food the rest of the day. Didn't mean to, just "forgot" - realized at 5pm I "forgot" about food, realized the band was WORKING - HALLELUJAH OH MY GOD THIS IS WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT! No interest in food...I began to eat healthy foods in small amounts, when I felt like it. Powerful :)

Dropped 70 more lbs over the next 6 months. That's the best feeling - just a new person, you know? I actually forgot about the band. I got used to what I could and couldn't eat, I was seeing results, things picked up. Food became a background, and it was the first time in my life that was the case. I was more concerned with trying to keep professional suits looking good on me and not spending $700 every six weeks cause I went from 20, to 18, to 16....

I then went through a lull where I noticed I was getting hungrier. I thought I passed the "magic time" of the band and hadn't gone in for a fill in a long time. I thought maybe my brain found a way to overcome the band, and the magic was over. This was 1.5 years into it, I was 90 lbs down by then.

I called my doc when I was really, really raveous all the time...it was coming back. It was a bit of a nightmare, the past was back with a vengeance. Then all the self hate came back, too, no more happy, sunny, successful Kate. I can't control myself. I'm a terrible person. It works for everyone but not me.

My doc ordered an immediate esophogram, she thought my band was eroding. I flew into panic mode. I gained 5 lbs back. Had the esophogram.....

band was fine.

pink and gorgeous and not eroding or jacknifed or anything...

So my doc said come in for a fill. She went to unfill me, and said. "Hm."

"Hm what??"

"Well, your band appears to be completely empty."

"WHAT?!"

We thought there was a leak, but I sat there while she filled me all the way back up...I drank water...she tested it....nothing. Seemed totally normal. She thought maybe there was a slow leak.

After that fill I dropped another 20 and have been staying here at 193 for another year (2.5 years) and over the last year I started gaining again, hovering at 205 - 209 no matter what I did.

Got another fill in March and forgot what a real fill felt like!! Dropped 16 lbs like that.

So basically, my journey's taking a while, but honestly? It's happening just the way it's supposed to for me. There are lots of people here who are dropping it left and right, but I've had to learn lots and lots of patience. I was NEVER a patient person...ever...I got into Yoga and meditation and really, if the band hadn't been messing with me with fits and starts of success and failure, I wouldn't have had to turn inwardly and work on more than just my body.

I'd say my spirituality and sense of "me" has risen from this whole lap band experience in a way I didn't even fathom. Total unexpected bonus. There's a reason for everything, eh? The lap band saved my life, but not just my health...

so your journey will be different in some ways, but there are a bunch of constants.

1. Don't panic when you're hungry. It's either hormonal, temporary, or means you need a fill. Just don't panic!! :) Try to make good choices until you can get a fill, or let a few days pass. I wish I'd been told that...I panicked all the time and went to food for help.

2. Breathe, for the love of God...Deep breaths. Might I recommend Yoga, because it helps you slow down, be conscious, which helps with mindful eating, too. A lot of us are fat because we shovel and don't think. The band forces you to slow your eating, or else you'll hurl it back up...Yoga or pilates or plain ole meditation will complement the whole thing nicely and also give you power and control you *never thought you would have*!!!

3. Do not isolate yourself. I was banded in NYU and did not have any local Philly support groups. Philly docs will not fill me, they had no support groups organized early on...this was a major problem in the past three years. If I had people around me who had the band, I really think I'd have been more successful.

Sorry for the novel :)

Yaherd · 05-23-2008, 11:00 AM

Thank you Kate.. Wish I could write like you.. your answers were perfect... I am focusing on my drs appointment next tuesday for my first post op and then getting to my mushie stage.. one day at a time for me..lol

kathystrick · 05-23-2008, 11:27 AM

Thanks for sharing, Kate. Your success may have taken time, but the key is you ARE a success. Congratulations and good luck on the continued weight loss!

Lizalee · 05-26-2008, 07:06 AM

Kate, thanks for sharing.

It put a lot of perspective on what I am going through, and likely many others. Patience is required (I'm not good at it!). It's so easy to panic during those loosing lulls.

I have so long to go, yet, in reality, I've already stuck with this new lifestyle longer than ever before without giving up. I don't find myself wanting to quit my 'diet' - or craving foods like I used to when I just tried to diet on my own. I know that this will be a life-changer, and I just need the patience to get through the tough periods.

Thanks so much.

Kate Eryn · 05-26-2008, 07:38 AM

You guys are more than welcome.

So I ate two pieces of cheese pizza last night with no problem. Guess what? I no longer feel guilty. That's the best part. I should have stopped at one, I didn't, I'm not a horrible monster. I was hungry. And my band needs filling. And it wasn't four pieces! I did feel pleasantly full afterwards. That's how normal people eat. (They were small/medium pieces, not the giant NY style)

It's great to make decisions, good or bad, and be fully cognizant of the consequences. Separating my self-esteem from what I put in my mouth is something I just do meal by meal :)

gdf18 · 05-26-2008, 10:20 PM

Good on you!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait until I can say the same. Soon. Soon.

Pnw_Red · 05-27-2008, 01:19 PM

Congratulations! What an awesome milestone to reach!

marineliebe · 05-30-2008, 10:54 PM

I too just realized that I now have less than 100lbs to lose! and it makes the whole things seem like its actually possible. 2 digets! but...i still have a long while to go.