My name is Daniel and I'm still in the "pre" stage; I've attended the mandatory information session, met the surgeon, working with a nutrition and bariatrician for 3 months before I have to make the final decision to move forward...and here's the thing, I'm still absolutely terrified! I have nearly 200+ to lose and quite frankly I'm still not convinced it's impossible.
Don't get me wrong, I read all of your fantastic stories including the challenges you face and try to be positive, but I'm starting to think this particular success isn't meant for me. I don't LOVE food like many, I eat the same food everyday of the week, of every month of every year. Is it particularly tasty; not really; do I crave it; not really. Am I eating emotionally -- sometimes, but most of all I can't figure out what's eating me. I have a great and supportive wife, a good job that has insurance that might pay a substantial chunk for this surgery and after, and I'm in the midst of starting my own business (I actually started that a couple of years ago).
Now, I recognize the "stress" indicators above may answer some of my concerns but my biggest concern is that since I started on a relatively healthy eating plan; apx. 1800-2000 calories per day and moderate, regularly scheduled exercise, I have never been so hungry in my 47 years. My eating behaviors are changing; I'm hiding food and eating alone (things I've not really done before). Because my blood pressure is high, my doctor says she can't prescribe an appetitie surpressant (many raise blood pressure) and then I read on some of these boards about "enlarged livers" and giving up sugars (soft drinks in particular) and starches (pasta and bread are my favorite).
I know it's about choices and making the best choice for me! I don't like being morbidly obese but I don't have the imaginative skills to "imagine" myself thinner. My fear is that if I'm so hungry now at 1800-2000 calories per day, how will I ever manage the rigorous post surgery diets.
Can you tell, panic has set-in. I apologize for unloading, but I've seen such great advice and even prayers and people struggling sharing their stories that I thought I'd venture out and tell my current struggles in hopes that someone maybe further down the road might recognize a pattern(s) and might have learned something to share with me.
Thank you listening (OK, reading--smile). I'm going to keep moving forward in hope!
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Daniel in Atlanta
Believing and working toward a healthier me!
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It sounds to me like you have the same addiction to the sensations of overeating that most of us have/had. When you weren't watching or attempting to control your intake, you were probably oblivious to how that eating pattern was fulfilling your emotional needs. Once you started to try to cut down and control those behaviours, your addiction fought back by finding ways to try to hide the food and hide your eating.
It's scary to contemplate life without our favourite comfort. It scares the crap out of me, anyway! I was also terrified that I would have to give up my favourite tastes, including pasta and other carbs. It's only been a short while since I took the plunge, but already I can tell that there is a HUGE difference in my hunger levels depending on whether or not I have eaten carbs that day. Carbs make me HUNGRY!!! At the same time, I don't have a lot of restriction yet, so right now there is absolutely nothing I can't eat, including breads, pasta and rice.
In some way that is a comfort to me for the long run. I know that, right now, carbs are not doing me any favours because they are fighting against the value of the band which does decrease my appetite even without full restriction. I'm looking forward to getting more restriction and if the price for that is less carbs, I'm prepared to pay it. However, I also know that once I achieve goal, I should be able to loosen off the band a little and eat a sensible balanced maintenance diet that will include carbs and will satisfy me.
The band doesn't mean giving up your favourites forever (except maybe carbonated drinks - although some can even manage that). When it is working, it doesn't mean living with hunger every day either - that is the whole point of it! That you DON'T feel the dreaded hunger daemon clawing at your insides in the same way. No-one can live with that feeling for very long. Other issues with emotional eating aren't solved of course, but it does help in taking away most of that physical sensation of "I'm starving!"
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Banding Date: 10 Dec 07 No longer Morbidly Obese!!!
Good advice there. It just wont feel that way to such a degree once you're banded.
You can and will enjoy some of your favourites again in moderation, you wont be starving the whole time. Just hang in there, its a very scary transition but its not as bad as you imagine on the other side.
My name is Daniel and I'm still in the "pre" stage; I've attended the mandatory information session, met the surgeon, working with a nutrition and bariatrician for 3 months before I have to make the final decision to move forward...and here's the thing, I'm still absolutely terrified! I have nearly 200+ to lose and quite frankly I'm still not convinced it's impossible.
I think many of us feel it's impossible, some doubts are prepostrous (as in all the photos in this site are photoshopped)... I don't remember not being fat, I think that was when I had a single digit age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AGBALA
I don't LOVE food like many, I eat the same food everyday of the week, of every month of every year.
Is it particularly tasty; not really; do I crave it; not really. Am I eating emotionally -- sometimes, but most of all I can't figure out what's eating me.
...
I'm hiding food and eating alone (things I've not really done before).
I read on some of these boards about giving up sugars (soft drinks in particular) and starches (pasta and bread are my favorite).
My fear is that if I'm so hungry now at 1800-2000 calories per day, how will I ever manage the rigorous post surgery diets.
What you said (wrote) above shows that you crave and love food... forget about the doubts, all aboard, full steam ahead.
and remember to smile!
__________________ BlueLion - a metric Thin Guy in a Fat Suit - Surgery date Feb18
HI Daniel, welcome to the boards! I totally get what you are saying. I honestly wondered how some little band would keep me from feeling so hundgry, I mean, come on, we aren't cutting anything out of the system here, right? Wrong, so wrong, the difference was amazing, I was truly NOT HUNGRY!! How is that possible I thought to myself, but there it was. Now, I am about a month out from having had surgery and the swelling has definately gone away so my restriction is far less (my dietician described it as being like a bucket with a huge hole in it), I am still feeling less hungry than before. And, I decided to track my food calories as well as the protein and I am eating so much less than I was before and truly honestly not feeling the same need for food as before!
Facing down the need to have this surgery is serious and give yourself time to work through it, but know that you are the only one who can make this decision, you will know if it is right, follow your heart.
Don't worry about not being able to imagine yourself skinny, I don't have any idea what that would be like, so I just imagine the clothes I wear now getting baggy! It's already starting and that's motivation too!
Good luck and keep us all posted!
__________________ Alisa H Banded: January 9, 2008 1st fill: 3/14/08 4ccs 2nd fill: 4/24/08 +1cc 3rd fill: 6/12/08 +1cc Weight Loss Tickers
Thanks everyone for your great feedback and encouragement. I continue to learn more about cravings; specifically as they relate to sugar and carbohydrates and I'm sure like many of you will keep wrestling with the real physiological issues.
The other component of those cravings are the significant psychological cravings; the Lap Band is obviously not a cure for obesity but merely a tool; and I guess I'm trying to gather the psychological tools that I need to deal with some of the challenges of these cravings on a psychological...social and even spiritual basis.
I was having dinner with my wife tonight and was thinking that with the Lap Band as a tool, I will have help with the physical cravings...but I'm not sure how to recreate my life in social settings such as eating-out, which is an important part of my life.
I don't know...I'm probably just overwhelmed by the entire process...I truly want to believe...it's more than imagining myself healthy (not skinny)...but spiritually happy eating the way the Lap Band will allow me to do; if that makes any sense.
Thanks for listening (OK, for reading)...I really do appreciate all of you!
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Daniel in Atlanta
Believing and working toward a healthier me!
I feel the same way about eating out, what am I going to do, not being able to drink my diet pepsi, eat the food I want etc. My husband's favorite restaurant is a mongolian BBQ, can be healthy but is all you can eat. Stupid to pay $8 to eat 3 bite...
I am just starting this journey so have a ways to go on that part.
Everyone has given great advice. Here is my 2 cents worth: I still go out to eat quite regularly. I look forward to really reading the menu and trying different things than the my old stand bys that were always high fat and huge portions. I am discovering a new taste for "quality" food over just quantity. I used to just "hoover" in my dinner and then wonder what I could eat next rather than take my time and enjoy what was in front of me. In some ways I think I enjoy eating more now than before (I know that sounds really strange from someone who was classified as super obese).
We are so conditioned to eating everything put on our plate (getting value for our $) and expecting to eat huge quantities in one sitting. Another thing I have learned? An appreciation for leftovers. I am on the third day of eating a delicious Indian dinner - and to me it tastes just as good if not better than the first time! I probably won't do many buffets anymore, but to tell the truth, I would rather have the food prepared fresh anyways (see above re quality over quantity).
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Highest Known 409 (in the late 90's) / 350 ish (most of the 2000's)/ June 07 322 (new me decision date)/ Sept. 25 07 (surgery) 279/ C 178.8 (achieved July 16, 2008 ) / G 180 (for now )
I agree, it takes a different way of thinking. Can't keep doing the same thing that got us this way...I will keep the quality vs. quanity in mind, that is a better way of thinking.
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