Spouse having questions

Hey my husband had the lap band surgery in December a week b4 Christmas and I still have a ton of questions. Things are so different for him then what the dr said. His mom had a it 1st and she's doing great and she can't really seem to relate to what he's going through. My husband hasn't slept good in 6 months and its really starting to effect our life. He used to go to bed with me at 11pm each night b4 surgery and now doesn't go to sleep til 1:30-2 every night. He has a very stressful job and so he needs his rest but its seeming to get it. He doesn't want to take sleeping pills b/c he doesn't want to feel dazed all day. Anyone else deal with this??? He's immune system is also really down. He is sick alot with little things like stomach aches, headaches and diaherra alot. He used to get sick like once a year now its once a week. I really want to be supportive and help him feel the best he can but unfortunately I just don't know how. We also haven't seen our closest friends in ages and stopped getting invited to stuff b/c people just assume he won't feel good enough to go. How can I help him feel better? Thanks

For the whole being sick part maybe get him to take a multi vitamin, you can usually also get certain vitamins that boost your immune system - I'm currently on immune supressant drugs so I know everything about getting sick - the usually have some good brans at pharmacies - the most expensive usually isn't overall the best.

How is he eating? I know when my band is really tight and I cant eat well or eat at all I am pretty much non existant. I get headaches, stomach achs cant sleep because the hunger wakes me up and i have no energy to do anything or enjoy anything. plus it never really helps with my weightloss eaither. I would ask him how he has been eating or maybe you know and can answer that for him. Hope that helps. I applaude you for coming here to help inform yourself that says a lot about your support for him. :)

Get him in to see his PCP. Write down everything you can think of that has changed, personality, eating habits (besides surgery), sleep, moods, anything you can think of, including the list you just gave us. It sounds like he might be depressed. My DH went through this after some really horrible stuff happened to us and he saw a psych and got some meds and he's doing great now. Off the meds and hasn't seen the psych in awhile.

After a major thing like this with all the emotion, changes, head stuff BEFORE and AFTER surgery, can send people into a depression. Wouldn't hurt to get him checked out. It could be physical too but sounds more like the other just based on my experience.

Nothing to be ashamed of that's for sure. It'd be a shame if he didn't get help, if that's the problem. If anything, it clues in his PCP as to something going on with him.

Oh, and GO WITH HIM AND SPEAK UP! He'll blow it off and not tell him everything.

If it was nothing but a sleep issue (which could cause all the rest) then I'd recommend Melatonin. It's a natural substance that helps with sleep. Start with one and see how that does. Doesn't make you groggy the next day like some of the other stuff. Works great. You have to take it early enough in the evening though for it to kick in and give you enough sleep.

Best wishes to the 2 of you.

Hi,

I know with the lap band you get tighter with stress and this can result in not being able to eat anything but liquids. See the Dr. ASAP. Best of Luck.