skinny friends don't get it!

kwray08 · 05-08-2008, 07:55 PM

wow this change has been so much bigger than I ever could have imagined! I have friends supporting me but they just dont really understand - maybe its the skinny thing. They love me and are very proud but its hard to understand unless you have been there ya know?!? needed a little loveee

healthyagain · 05-08-2008, 08:01 PM

That's why this board is so helpful...It's a great place to come for understanding from people going through the same thing as you...I think it is hard to put yourself in anothers position and truly understand until you've been there yourself...Like people who can't undertand Alcoholism or homosexuality or anything else that is personal and exclusive to certain individules. The important thing is that they stand by you and maintain a loving caring friendship...If they don't get it...You've got us!!!

Sarah.R · 05-25-2008, 11:51 PM

Of course your skinny friends won't get it, none of the people you know would understand unless there family and they see what you go through, this is your choice and they should be happy in the fact that you've chosen to change your life for the better

blondekerri79 · 05-26-2008, 04:50 AM

I'm glad there's not only me who has friends that don't understand, and have told me I'm being silly, and the old cliqche....."you have such a pretty face"!! My problem is I'm getting the same reaction off my family, maybe they are just worried, but they are making me feel so isolated and basically like I wanna do this alone for myself!! Had a rough 3 yrs and now this is me time!!!.....This place is my saviour!!

drew05 · 05-30-2008, 03:35 PM

Like everyone has said, this place is an amazing help. My mom is actually considering doing this surgery with me so luckily my entire family is extremely supportive. My friends are supportive as well (the ones I have told), and many of my close friends are skinny as well. As for them not being able to understand, it's true that if they haven't been there they can't understand fully. But to say they can't understand at all is not true. My friends understand the struggles I have been through and they know why I am doing this and the effects my weight has had on my life.

You just have to take all the support they give you, even if they don't truly understand the feelings you are going through. Because no one, except yourself, knows exactly what you're going through. Like I said, just take all the support you can get because we wouldn't give support if we didn't really care!

hollyncharm · 06-09-2008, 06:57 AM

I'm one of those people that has to share their life events with everyone and so i have told a bunch of people that I'm trying to get banded and every one and i mean freakin EVERY has gotten all cocky about it and tell me that ill just have to diet the rest of my life why cant i just diet and save my money? that is making me so mad. my boyfriend even said something like that last night. i mean they have a point i guess but if i understand correctly after being on liquids you stomach shrinks so if you don't have much restriction then you still will get full faster and after a while if you have almost no restriction and you are ready for a fill then you get one and then you have restriction thus making it impossible to eat the way i did before without being miserable. am i wrong???? does that sound about right? i don't know i still get the feeling that they think I'm wasting my time and money on some gimmick. my boyfriend has more faith in me than anyone else he knows i want it to work and i know he wants if for me but he doesn't know much about it and i can tell there is still a bit of skepticism but he doesn't show it in his speech i don't know i just wish i had some one in my life that has been banded so at least i could talk to them. i have quite a few people in my family who has had gastric bypass and they gained all of their weight back and then some so of course i hear about that as well. i need encouragement please help its going to be a while before i can find out if I'm approved or not and i don't want to change my mind cause i listened to all the morons in my life.

katiebug · 06-09-2008, 08:30 PM

I have so much support from people at work that it gives me anxiety attacks when they are always talking about it, but the weird thing is that none of my friends will say anything about it. It's been 5 months & 60lbs later but they have yet to say a single word. It's super lame.

sparklegirl · 06-09-2008, 10:01 PM

I'm new here and I have just started the process of getting a band like as close to the beginning as you can get. but I honestly don't think I will/want to tell anyone. Of course my family will know, but I am VERY uncomfortable about my weight and I don't want anyone even telling me "did you lose weight?" or anything along that line. I have no idea what I will tell people.
I guess I'm asking others how/what they told their friends and family about their surgery?

I am the only "fat girl" among my friends and they have no idea how it feels to be so different from everyone else. I don't know how they are going to react to the surgery. I just recently started homeschooling which I absolutely love! and everyone asks why I did it and I really don't know I was never really teased in school I was just kinda ignored. I think I'm kinda putting my life on hold until I lose some weight. Which I know I know I shouldn't, but I just hate being in public places and being around people anymore.

Sarah.R · 06-09-2008, 11:36 PM

Maybe you should mention in casual conversation something along the lines of "I've lost so much weight I was walking to my bedroom the other night and my pants almost went around my ankles?" lol that way they'll think oh wow she has lost weight and when you can put a spin on it like that and kinda make it a joke they won't think its that bad mentioning it?

hollyncharm · 06-10-2008, 06:15 AM

katiebug,
are your friends fat? maybe their jealous of your awesome curves! lol that is super lame tho it would make me sad but then i would just be like, "you all SUCK i feel great!" but it would still bother me a little 60 is a lot i cant believe they haven't said anything. your tall aren't you? it normally shows better on tall people. i saw your picture with the collar bones, by the way and they look nice good for you. i think about that all the time. thats a goal in life for me have collarbones and wear sun dresses.

katiebug · 06-10-2008, 01:24 PM

They are both on the super skinny side of the scale. I feel like they are disgusted & think I did this as a cop-out. But yeah, I'm 5'11 so I could wear the weight well... enough.

When I found out I had collarbones, I almost shit a brick. Haha

hollyncharm · 06-10-2008, 01:39 PM

thats really funny. i don't have any one that makes me think about them possibly being disgusted but i do feel like they are thinking I'm lazy and i don't deserve it. i really feel retired talking out it anymore, i feel like they are thinking, "well fat ass if you'd get up and stop crammin in the burgers..." but it isn't like that. I'm not very active but i also don't eat that much so i think its all in my head that people are thinking awful things. i know i will actually try once i get banded but every one else seems to think I'm wasting my time. how encouraging is that? any way 5'11 is freak awesome I'm like 5'5 and 245-260 (I'm not sure) and I'm not wearing it so well any more. what are you trying to get down too?

katiebug · 06-10-2008, 06:25 PM

I'm trying to get down to 160. I think that would be ideal. I reached my halfway mark a few days ago, & I'm hoping the second half will go as fast as the first.

hollyncharm · 06-12-2008, 05:52 AM

wow thats really great i don't think i have ever reached a half way mark to finishing anything. thats my problem and the reason why i think a lot of people are think that I'm wasting my money is cause i never stick with stuff but its get where i don't have a choice. wow half way......that is almost as exciting as reaching the goal. i cant wait. hearing that you have about the same weight goal i do and you are already half way there makes me really eager to get this moving faster.