Getting & keeping a boy/girlfriend?

katiebug · 02-08-2008, 08:52 PM

I've had two boyfriends. One lasted one month & was amazing. The second was like four months but emotionally abusive. I'm not sure if it is because I'm overweight or because I have a personality flaw, but I'm scared that I still won't be able to get a boyfriend even after I lose the weight. /rant

EDIT:
Shit, I forgot to even ask... those of you in a relationship... what has your experience been?

purplegirl1818 · 02-11-2008, 09:20 PM

ugh never been in a relationship

never been kissed

etc... :-(

justbeingme · 02-16-2008, 10:05 PM

I haven't ever been in a relationship either. Even now that I am so much smaller, guys around here don't show much interest. I kind of think that it is that they can't look past what I used to be. As hard as it is, I think what I must do is wait for college. Nobody will know how I was. They will just see the new me. Shallow, I know. But that's how it is.

katiebug · 02-17-2008, 02:14 PM

I knew it! I figured once I got down, most people would still just remember me as "Fat Katie" & be like weird.

justbeingme · 02-17-2008, 05:20 PM

Well my mom's friend's son told his mom this story and his mom told my mom. Then my mom told me. (follow that? haha) Toward the end of summer, after I had pretty much gotten to goal and I had changed a bit, I ran into the boy and a few of his friends. I had seen him frequently over the summer so he recognized me. I carried on a nice little conversation with him and then told him I would talk to him later and was on my way. After I left, I guess the boys interrogated him with things like "You really know her?" "Who is that?" "Man she is hot!". He replied telling them that I was Kylie. And none of them believed him.

I mean this story did boost my self esteem a bit but it also made me realize, even though they might be attracted to the new me, they can't forget the old me.

I hate how shallow high school is, but that is how it is. People who didn't know me before now definately show interest. It is amazing how I can get tons of numbers from guys out of town, but can't one to pay any attention in my own town.

Sarah.R · 02-17-2008, 07:58 PM

Aww I wish I could hug all of you (how weird does that sound? lol) I like many of you have never had a bf - never been kissed, still a virgin in all areas basically. It actually doesnt bother me what so ever but lately it kind of has, my younger sister who is 15 has just got a bf and it just feels weird you know, he comes over and I just think oh my god your only 15 why the heck do you have a bf? Lol I know that sounds stupid but oh well, I personally havent had the band yet as Im still talking about it with my Dr. - still have to recieve a referral from her for the lap band surgeon but once it is done and over and Im on my way to loosing weight I dont think having a bf is going to be in my top priority (sp?) list, theres way more important things than that right?

purplegirl1818 · 02-21-2008, 09:18 AM

kylie, that is exactly why i am going to meet goal before i head to college this fall. i am determined to not be stuck in the "fat kid" sterotype. im glad its not just me

and sarah, id just tell all the doctors youwant to be healthy... yea, i do too someplace in the back of my head... but the whole boyfriend thing is more of a priority for me as well

justbeingme · 02-21-2008, 03:15 PM

I understand completly on that one. I am so glad that I am at goal and can go on to college without all that extra baggage. Good luck on getting it all off. I am sure you can do it!

LucieJ · 02-27-2008, 08:24 PM

Ive had boyfriends, 3 serious ones the first was abusive much older than me i didnt care cus he was paying attention to me and no one eles had, one day i figured enough was enough and pulled away from him, then i had a guy who was a great friend and we started sleeping together, he would use me and i would put up with it again cus my friends all had boyfriends and thats about as close as i could get then i met this awesome guy who made me realise the other one was using me, he was big too and he understood and we were great together- we split up cus he lived too far away and our jobs got in the way, so i eventually fell back to the other guy who was using me but this time we went out propally cept he was embaressed to tell his friends about me, i can honestly say he loved me but just not enough to tell his friends, i would switch and change between feeling great having a bf and feeling shit cus he didnt want anyone to know he was my boyfriend, now ive met a new guy and whilst im not ready atm for a relationship hes lovely and it'll be nice knowing he likes me now- i kinda get the feeling even after ive lost weight all im gunna be thinking about is "would this guy have liked me before" buuuuut anyhows even tho i havent had much luck with guys ive got skinny friends who have had it alot worse and friends bigger than me who have had it alot better, you'll all find someone eventually, would you really want to be with someone shalow enough to not give you the time of day before?

*and breath* lol

best of luck to all of you

xxxxxx

katiebug · 02-27-2008, 09:13 PM

People at work will tell me on a daily basis that all I need is a boyfriend & now that I'm losing weight I should have one... Now, I don't take it too seriously, or to heart, but hearing it everyday... it makes it hard to get out of your head, you know?

LucieJ · 02-27-2008, 09:16 PM

thats just silly, why should you only just start having a boyfriend! if thats the way they feel it should have been said before aswell, silly silly people, there are people out there who are attrated to overweight people and people who dont give a damm about what people look like, gaaawd some people are sooo shallow, glad your ignoring them :)

katiebug · 02-27-2008, 09:23 PM

It's these crazy ladies I work with, I really don't mind. It's not that I should just get one now, but especially now. They've been telling me I should have a boyfriend for a year & a half now. They always tell me I have such a lovely face haha. But she is very excited for me. She is from... some crazy islands that I can never remember, but yeah. She has two sisters that also work there with me & my sister, so it's all fun.

LucieJ · 02-27-2008, 09:31 PM

Ah fair doos, you enjoy your job then?

Some of the old ladies in work tell me i should be finding a boyfriend soon, well they say "a nice young lad to settle down with" then start groaning about us youngsters fling about with different partners- chance would be a fine thing!

katiebug · 02-27-2008, 09:38 PM

Yes, I love my job. & they also tell me I need to find someone to settle down & have kids with. They don't hate on just dating for funsies though either, they just want me to have someone. It's cute.

LucieJ · 02-27-2008, 09:39 PM

Thats awesome, allways good when you like your job and the people you work with :D cant wait to get back to work!