An Open Letter to my Bathroom Scale-

ReadySteadyGo · 04-09-2008, 09:19 AM

Dear Jerk,

You tease me. I thought the conversation we had the last time I came to visit would make a diffrence. I pleaded with you to move , to change. I can't keep coming back to the same old unsatisfactory circumstances. I bargained with you, rationalized with you, pleaded with you. I thought we understood one another afterwards.

And, oh, you changed. I will give you that. You moved and I appreciate that. I think you must have misunderstood me, however. I wanted you to move DOWN not UP. I am offended that you didn't listen to me. I can talk and talk til I am blue in the face, but yet nothing seems to work with you.

Don't be confused. I will move on. There are a lot of scales that would want me. Don't take me or my bathroom floor for granted or I will be done with you. Toss you in the trash with my empty cartons of soy milk and old cans of tuna. Don't think I won't. I deserve better. I am worthy of a scale that listens.

Shape up or ship out. This is your FINAL warning.

Thanks for your time.
Tara
(ReadySteadyGo)

Gloucester · 04-09-2008, 09:27 AM

You tell 'em Tara!

And, when you're done whipping that one into shape, I have a jerk scale of my own I'd like "fixed".

:)

tapshoes · 04-09-2008, 09:50 AM

Tara

Talking doesn't work - they don't listen! Brute force is something they understand - flash an electric drill or hammer at 'em!

My scales and I parted ways a LONG time ago...I decided I didn't need such an instrument of torture in my life; something to mock me, to insult me, to glower its LCD glare at me....

sfeiner · 04-09-2008, 10:13 AM

You ppl have me laughing my head off. Had to read them to my daughter and she's still laughing. I can't talk that way to my scale. He retaliates!

Officeslave · 04-09-2008, 12:46 PM

Too funny Tara! I am sitting at my desk cracking up! I am sure my boss thinks I am losing it!

ReadySteadyGo · 04-09-2008, 12:52 PM

I am really having a doozy with the scale right now. I am wondering if I drop it from a three story window if it would work better. Maybe it just needs a good kick.

NukeChik · 04-09-2008, 01:13 PM

I just have to say Tara, that post is hilarious! I too am having the same problem. (Hope you don't mind me being an outsider)

ReadySteadyGo · 04-09-2008, 02:25 PM

Glad to have you. I am glad I am not the only one thinking of commiting scale-a-side.

tapshoes · 04-10-2008, 07:01 AM

No charges can be laid if the case is justifiable...you have been provoked, ridiculed, harassed and psychologically beaten by this device that you invited into your loving home. There are limits which the law understands!

NukeChik · 04-10-2008, 09:54 AM

Or if you're a southern gurrll like me, you just use the excuse "It Needed Killin"

ReadySteadyGo · 04-10-2008, 02:57 PM

great ideas

Jeanieg6 · 04-10-2008, 06:06 PM

hahahaha lol too funny!

oh wait...it's true, i could have written that.

funny thing is i just bought a new scale yesterday!

hope it does work better than the last one. :) it started off bad already though, it's a pound heavier than the last one...maybe i should take it back. :)
good letter!

ReadySteadyGo · 04-11-2008, 08:39 AM

Its so hard to find good help these days.

Gibson · 04-13-2008, 07:18 AM

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

You are a funny, funny girl!

P.S. Is your scale still with us in the land of the 'non'living?

Angie4b1g · 04-13-2008, 08:21 AM

I must be threatening enough, because my scale seems to have started moving again after WEEKS of teasing. Whew!