It's breaking me

Ang1982 · 06-17-2008, 07:07 PM

This is part of an exceprt I posted on my blog but thought that I would make a post here as well, perhaps for added guidance, insite, I don't know .. something? haha.

I knew that this was not supposed to be easy but I never thought it would be this hard. I am about one straw left to being full blown discouraged and completely given up. In the past 6 weeks I have done nothing but gain 4-5 lbs. I want so badly (or do I? I don't even know) to get back on track but each step backwards, each lb gained or no lbs lost breaks me just a little bit more and makes it even that much more discouraging. My willpower to keep strong at this is just about gone. I NEVER in my wildest dreams thought I would fail so badly at this. Oh yah, gained another lb this week....

**FairyFacade** · 06-17-2008, 07:09 PM

Go get a fill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Raid the house and throw out the slider foods.
((HUGS)) and don't give up.

Ang1982 · 06-17-2008, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FairyFacade

Go get a fill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Raid the house and throw out the slider foods.
((HUGS)) and don't give up.

Thanks girlie, I actually just had a fill on Thursday... so far doesn't seem to be any more restriction than the 2 before it at this point. Raiding the house to throw out food wouldn't be difficult since well... the house is pretty empty, need to grocery shop lol.

SB0233 · 06-17-2008, 07:21 PM

Do you need a fill? Right after I hit wonderland, I gained a few and went directly to my doctor to get a fill. I am now loosing again.

Also, don't know if this will help you, but when my scale stops moving, I change anything and everything about my routine. Increase the calories one day, then dip them....eat different foods....focus more on cardio rather then weights, etc. One of these methods usually helps, along with a good b*tch session every now and then.

I know it's frustrating, but you are far from failing.

gingerbug · 06-17-2008, 07:54 PM

I find that I gain a couple pounds in the couple of weeks before my period, hang in there, it will come off!!

RedTulips3 · 06-18-2008, 08:41 AM

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Stay strong!! I agree on the fill idea, but I know you have to travel some distance for your fills so it's probably not as simple as "just go get a fill". But at the same time, the fills are what control the hunger.

Keep coming here for support to help you stay positive. Try to take it one day at a time. It's a hard thing to do and I've been working on that lately too. For example, I just got back from a 2.5 week vacation and vacation=no routine. There were many days where I did not have control over the food choices given to me and I made some pretty bad ones.

But I had to tell myself that it was only 1 day out of so many in the year, out of so many in my life. I could not give myself the mindset that "Well I just ate that and that and that today so my whole week is shot, so who cares what I eat the rest of the week!" NO! I had to say to myself "Today was today. I ate that today and it does not mean that tomorrow needs to be that way too."

It's the whole diet mentality. You start your diet Monday, mess up on Wednesday so you say "forget about it, I'll just start again on Monday" We have to train our minds NOT to think this way because this type of thought process does not bode well for anyone.

It doesn't only apply to food, it applies to other areas of our lives too. We do this with our moods (especially us women). One thing in the day goes wrong and it's ruined our entire day, let alone our entire week. While we do have to realize our mistakes and use them as a springboard for change, we can't harp on them so much that they hinder our attempts at change. Unfortunately, many of us experience the latter.

I hoped this helped you some. Hang in there, you can do it. One day at a time!

Chrisann · 06-18-2008, 10:36 PM

Stay away from the scale. Ramp up the liquids, maybe go all liquid for a day, you know, the protein shakes, slim fast etc. Eat more fruit, of whatever kind you can get down. Stay away from the crackers or cheeses or even soups.

At work, I have a plateau busters food plan that I got at a support meeting. When I go in tomorrow I will scan it in and if you send me your email, will send it to you.

elvisfan1219 · 06-19-2008, 12:04 PM

can you email the "plateau busters" to me too? elvisfan1219@yahoo.com

HeatherO · 06-20-2008, 02:17 PM

Please don't be too discouraged. I think we have all been in the same place as you at one time or another in our journeys. I felt the same way for a time, then I went in for my second fill and the gods of restriction finally blessed me.

What was a continuous, discouraging struggle every day became no big deal. Before I was restricted, it was just normal dieting as always . . . well I never would have become obese if normal dieting worked for me long term.

38 pounds is not too shabby . . . it is still a significant loss and you are still closer to your goal than before banding. Keep that in mind when you are feeling down.

Can you talk to your doctor about more aggressive fills or going in sooner? It will continue to be a struggle until you have workable restriction. I got lucky in that my doctor gave me agressive fills 6.8 the first and 1.5 for the second fill in a Realize band which was just the ticket. I am not even thinking of another fill for another month or two depending on how I am feeling.

Hang in there . . . it is only a matter of time before things become a little more workable.

Ang1982 · 06-20-2008, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherO

Please don't be too discouraged. I think we have all been in the same place as you at one time or another in our journeys. I felt the same way for a time, then I went in for my second fill and the gods of restriction finally blessed me.

What was a continuous, discouraging struggle every day became no big deal. Before I was restricted, it was just normal dieting as always . . . well I never would have become obese if normal dieting worked for me long term.

38 pounds is not too shabby . . . it is still a significant loss and you are still closer to your goal than before banding. Keep that in mind when you are feeling down.

Can you talk to your doctor about more aggressive fills or going in sooner? It will continue to be a struggle until you have workable restriction. I got lucky in that my doctor gave me agressive fills 6.8 the first and 1.5 for the second fill in a Realize band which was just the ticket. I am not even thinking of another fill for another month or two depending on how I am feeling.

Hang in there . . . it is only a matter of time before things become a little more workable.

Thanks Heather (and everyone else) for the support, I was having a pretty bad few days when I posted that and have been feeling better recently. I know it's a step by step process but somedays it just makes me want to cry, scream throw a tantrum, you know hehe.

I had my last fill on Thurs June 12 and go for my next one on July 10 hopefully that one I will be able to get a bit more of an agressive fill. I am probably at about 6.6 or 6.8 or around that in an I'm not sure how big but I am guessing 10cc MIDband (I am not sure how much because my doc has never given me a straight answer on that total cc amount).

I do need more restriction that is for sure. After this next appointment July 10 I am going to book the next one a lot sooner. I have to take 4hrs off work to drive out and back so I don't want to go too frequently if I can avoid.

B-Man · 06-24-2008, 04:31 PM

Any time I get a fill, they pull all the fluid out of the band first, add the additional and push it all back in. This way they know exactly how much is in the band, and know if there is any leakage/evaporation. My fill nurse will usually show me the syringe and I can see for myself how much is going in.

tweenwaters · 06-28-2008, 06:43 PM

don't give up....this next fill just might be "the one"...so keep your chin up:)
~eat &/or drink your protein first...I still live on protein shakes daily for breakfast and have found that getting back to the New Whey protein bullets the past several days has helped the scale to start moving again.

Your posts are always so uplifting to others....so let "us" help and encourage YOU!
all the best!

Totallytater · 06-28-2008, 10:57 PM

Get rid of all of the easy foods. I find that I can really eat bunches of the following: potato chips, tortilla chips, chex snack mix, cookies of any type, candy of any type (especially Reese's Cups), cakes, crackers, ice cream, milk shakes, and ALL OTHER TYPES OF JUNK FOODS. I can really pack in the bad stuff. I also find that salads full of slippery, fatterning dressings slide down very easily. But let me eat chicken, or beef, or something healthy and I can only eat 5 to 10 small bites and I feel like I am going to bust.

When I am having trouble, I also sometimes resort to drinking low carb slim fast 4 times per day and eating one very small meal of chicken and green beans. This works well for me.