Fell off the wagon...

Ang1982 · 02-24-2008, 10:40 PM

*sigh* You know, when I made the decision to change my life and get everything in order to get the Band, I knew it would a life long commitment and journey. I knew that there would be good days and there would be bad days, and there have been but I don't think I prepared myself for the "in betwen stages" days. I had days during my first couple of weeks post op where the food demon in my head consumed me. I followed my post op diet 100% and it wasn't easy. I healed quickly and was hungry through most of my post op diet healing time. So here I am past the post op healing diet, pre fill and NO, ZERO, NILCH, NADA, (insert other adjective here) restriction.

Over the past few days I have definitely not made some of the smartest food choices (not horrible though, no fast food, etc) more along the lines of just not eating the 1/2-1cup amounts. Example, today our friends had an Oscar party - and everyone was to bring appy type foods. So I basically grazed on food all afternoon and evening. I drank (water) during the times I was grazing (I realize that this is bad once you have restriction but currently I have zero so I was doing it anyways).

And I've been lazy on the exercise - nothing for at least the past 4 days. Am I officially in Bandster hell? What's the best way to get past this part until my first fill (Mar 10)? Cooking is not my thing, frankly I down right hate it so it's going to be a struggle for cooking when I have restriction but it's even worse right now because... it's like I've had nothing done. I feel the same as how I felt before my surgery.

Pretty sure I'll be gaining a few lbs this week's weigh in. GRRR.

libra · 02-25-2008, 06:01 AM

Don't get frustrated. I've done it too. Just motivate yourself and get back in gear. We all have lapses like that. It's especially hard during parties, etc. with the food just staring you in the face all night.

mamato3 · 02-25-2008, 06:53 AM

I wouldn't spend too much time beating yourself up. Remember what everyone says, we didn't gain this weight overnight. It will take some time to lose it. I'm sure it will be a learning curve. This bandster hell thing really SUCKS! I understand how you feel. But you are doing great! You have 25 pounds gone! Yay for you! And the exercise thing.... well if you are anything like me, you really haven't exercised your whole life. It's not like we can automatically love it. LOL It is growing on me though. My little girls were sick this last week so I could not go to the gym and I was quite annoyed by that. But there is always this week, and the week after, right? Oh, and if it makes you feel any better..... I ate PIZZA last night. Pizza is my all time favorite food and I stayed away from it for 2 months! My first fill is today and I let my hair down a little last night. It was so good! It didn't kill me... I still lost 2.5 pounds last week. :) You can do this! We are right here with you.... falling off the wagon and then jumping right back on!

snowbird · 02-25-2008, 07:03 AM

I just bought Lean Cuisines for the bandster hell part of post surgery. Instant, enforced, portion control--of course, I could eat two of them, I suppose, but to me they don't taste good enough to do that. I really didn't keep anything else in the house, certainly nothing that I would want to overeat on. Once in a while I would break down and go to the bakery and get a cookie, but it would be ONE cookie, not a whole package of them. I still do that. I think I need to treat myself to a goodie once in a while or else I feel very deprived. DH and I have learned that we cannot, absolutely cannot, have ice cream in the house, so we don't buy that.

losingjusme · 02-25-2008, 07:31 AM

you're not the only one. you've seen where you can make improvements, take them one at a time if it seems too daunting.

and you're right, once you have adequate restriction, you wont be drinking with your meals - unless of course you want them to revisit ...

take it easy on yourself, you're not alone...

Chrisann · 02-25-2008, 08:59 AM

I was just going to post the same thing

This was a weekend of running around. So, Saturday, had a slimfast, and in the afternoon a South Beach diet protein bar. In the evening, we all went to Checkers. I had a basic Checker burger, didn't eat the bun, and small fries and ate all of them! Ok granted, in the past I would have had the Big Buford and a large fries, but still, couldn't help myself. I am used to not having a drink with meals so I didn't drink anything.

One of my friends ate this: Chili Cheese Fries, 2 Chili Cheeseburgers, 2 Chicken sandwiches and a diet soda. I just sat there stunned. IN the past I probably wouldv'e been right there with him.

Now Sunday, started with cottage cheese. Then in the afternoon, pea soup, with 3 cheese and cracker sandwiches. 2oz cheese, and 6 crackers. For dinner, 5oz london broil cut small, 1/2 cup mixed vegetables. At 10pm, had the urge for a bagel, so made 1/2 one in the toaster, but then wanted the other half and ate that too.

I showed absolutely no restriction the last two nights. That is so weird. I was so disappointed with myself last night. I woke up this morning and was hungry. So I ignored it. Now at work, I got some hot tea and the hunger is gone. So what I think I am battling is the head hunger too.

Geez, all these new "rules" to get used to, and when all of them gang up on you at once, its really hard.

**Jack** · 02-25-2008, 09:20 AM

re: "One of my friends ate this: Chili Cheese Fries, 2 Chili Cheeseburgers, 2 Chicken sandwiches and a diet soda. I just sat there stunned. IN the past I probably wouldv'e been right there with him"

good God!!!

re: "fell off the wagon"

There's lots of ways to look at this. One way is to admit there is no wagon, there is only behavior that is followed by satisfaction or repentance.

And frankly, I think there is too much focus on "fill" and "restriction". While the Band is a tool that HELPS us change our eating behavior, unless we modify those errors of over eating we will continue to get what we've always got....

For a time, as an exercise, I considered that "restriction" really amounted to how often I bent my elbow in the process of stuffing myself with food when in fact, I could identify I was neither hungry nor did eating make a bit of difference in whether I wanted to continue eating...

I struggled long and hard preOp to find what the term "SATIETY" meant, I thought it was an abstraction as I had never experienced such.

My own first BIG step to gaining control was to recognize the difference between 'hungry' and 'NOT hungry'.

After that, recognizing 'eating' and 'NOT eating' in Normos actually related to 'hungry' and 'NOT hungry'.

Without being aware of such a simple thing, I was unaware I was eating attempting to feed something that wasn't related to physical hunger.

I didn't realize I had come to regard 'hunger' in an abnormal way...it ISN'T the horrid beast and I didn't have to 'eat so I wouldn't get hungry'...

It is far more enjoyable to wait until I'm hungry now, to eat. And restriction has little to do with that.

losingjusme · 02-25-2008, 09:31 AM

Jack,
you are the best!

Chrisann · 02-25-2008, 10:23 AM

Jack thanks for the words of encouragement, and how it took you to figure out saiety. I am in that stage now, I have not eaten to PB or Slime status, but feel that as I write down what I eat, I am eating too much. I do stop before the "feel full" feeling, but wanting to eat 2 hours later is what is scaring me. I thought that by checking my portions, and sticking to them, I wouldn't feel the hunger.

What I am trying to figure out now is the stomach hunger vs. head hunger.

The friend I had dinner with on Saturday, is 6'6" 350. He says he can diet whenever he wants to. He is proud that I did the band and that I am losing weight, but he calls it cheating. I blow that off, because I know that with the eating modifications I am doing I will lose the weight. He has no health problems at this point in his life and he quit smoking on Friday.

AndreaL · 02-25-2008, 10:35 AM

I would like to introduce you to my two new best friends...Frozen Wild Bluberries and Frozen Sunburst mangos. These two things are great when you have that "head hunger". It is really hard to get out of the habit of eating while doing mindless activities (like watching your fav tv show). So I will put my 1 cup serving of frozen fruit into a bowl (the mangos I have plain, the blueberries with 1/2 cup of vanilla fat free yogurt) and watch my show and munch away. The mangos are like having a little treat. They are like a little fruity sorbet. You can't eat them fast because they are so cold and they are conveniently cut into bite size pieces. My nutritionist recommended them for those time when you really want to eat something, but don't think it's stomach hunger, or for when you are really hungry and need to tide yourself over until meal time (like afternoon or late evening snack). I've founds them to be extrememly convenient as well as satisfying. I absolutely HATE yogurt, but putting the blueberries in is great. They are naturally sweet and as they thaw they give off quite a bit of juice which makes the yogurt really sweet and not tasting like yogurt at all. This is a bonus for my fellow yogurt haters. :)

marathinner · 02-25-2008, 12:06 PM

I'm so glad you posted this, as I too, felt like I "fell off the wagon" over the weekend. I'm 3 weeks post op and am transitioning into solids. On Friday I had some lean ground beef with lowfat cheese and salsa...deelish. On Saturday, I found myself "picking" at stuff mainly out of curiosity to see how it would go down. DH had some lasagna and a dinner role. I had a bite of each with no problems. THEN...yesterday we had an Oscar party and I was nibbling at everything!! My neighbor brought over some of my favorite wine and one glass turned into 3!! Granted, my doc said it was ok to have wine in moderation, but 3 glasses (didn't feel to buzzed-just relaxed) along with munching on apps and more ground beef was probably overkill. Yes, it was still significantly less than what I would have indulged in pre-band, but it's more of the principle of the matter. Just because I CAN eat/drink these things doesn't mean I SHOULD!!! I woke up today with a guilt hangover. BUT...I started the day with my protein shake and have meal plans for the rest of the week. We shouldn't beat ourselves up, just stay on the "band-wagon"!! There's still room for indulgances, I just think they need to wait until we get proper restriction (which for me isn't until March 13th, my first fill). Glad I'm not alone and thanks for letting me vent my confessions.

Amy

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