Who did you tell/talk to before

campinhappy · 01-24-2008, 02:59 AM

I'm brand spankin new here and I'm sitting here in the middle of the night thinking...OK 46 years old, 330 lbs, been on diets since I was 10 years old and it's time to do something.

I've been talking to my wife who has some concerns that it won't work, it's dangerous (like being 330 aint), I might find another addiction, etc... I don't think it's not that she doesn't want me to do it, it's just well heck I don't know.

Did you talk to your other close friends beforehand or just dive in.

My biggest concerns are cost, will I be able to maintain it, will it have any negative effects on my/my family down the road.

Any comments?

Tank you berry berry much!

Fanny Adams · 01-24-2008, 03:19 AM

Well I didn't really talk to anyone about it seriously until after I'd made the decision. This is something I had been "dreaming" about for several years, started thinking seriously about when a friend went through it about 18 months ago and lost really well and just kicked around in the back of my mind until about mid last year. I went back to my GP for "one last ditch effort" on a new weight loss drug, but after about 2 weeks on that, I was easily able to eat past any effect the drug had.

I was feeling really low one afternoon thinking about how my weight was so out of control and had been for so long; how my new job on the mines was giving me everything I wanted in terms of material things but was putting me into temptations way so badly with the camp food that I had gained nearly 50lb in 18months. Last October I searched on the net for weight-loss surgery and stumbled over this site and spent the next several days furiously reading everything in it! My decision was made on the first day - I wanted the band and I wanted it right NOW!

I made the decision, called my GP to set up an appointment to get the referral to the surgeon and that was that. I didn't tell anyone until I had the appointment set with the surgeon (Nov) and since then I've been telling anyone and everyone! My surgery was in Dec and I am loving what I have done for myself.

My suggestion would be to read, read and read some more. Talk to people, preferably those who have had some experience with it. Yes, the surgery has an element of danger - read the Complications threads and become familiar with them. Think about how the chance of complications compares with the chance of ill health as a result of your weight - which is more likely?

Yes, it can be expensive if you are self-pay (I am), but what is the cost of good health, both physical and mental? How much will you save in the long run? For me, it is absolutely worth it.

Yes, it takes effort to maintain and work the band. I've not had a lot of success in the past with anything that requires a long sustained effort. However, the beauty of the band is such that even if one "falls off the wagon", you can pick yourself up later and get another fill and get back on track. I'm very confident this time round that I have made the right decision.

Good luck in making your decision.

Jachut · 01-24-2008, 04:13 AM

The decision was all mine, made with lots of discussions with my DH, but I told all my family and friends. I'd never have surgery without telling my family, my health is everyone's concern, lol, as theirs is mine. I'd kill my mum for example if she had even a colonoscopy without my knowing it.

Sades · 01-24-2008, 04:45 AM

I told all my family, friends, boss and close work colleagues. Most were supportive but had a couple who didn't think I should do it but in the end it was my decision. I understand how your wife feels but in the end it is your body and quality of life which you must consider. Good luck with your decision.

Brewa2000 · 01-24-2008, 10:19 AM

Before my surgery, only a handful of people knew. Now, I don't hestitate to tell any one. I will answer (almost) any question that any one has, but won't become the reformed alcoholic.

I agree with Fanny, educate yourself all you can.

Good luck!

Bruce

**Jack** · 01-25-2008, 05:31 PM

It took me 18 months of sweating and swearing and seeking and searching...driving all my close friends and family mad in the process.....I read and researched and discovered LBT....I went to a number of live support groups but at the time they were all 100% bypass patients.

Pick out a few trusted friends you can have meaningful discussions with and welcome to BandLand....

Catalystmb · 01-25-2008, 06:18 PM

I've told only a few friends and family members.
Some comments have been negative which I am learning to deal with instead of it making me defensive. I have a few points of fact for them next time.

The savings.... you can think of it this way.
You'll be saving any out of pocket costs you may have in the future dealing with any comoridities associated with obesity.
I read here somewhere about food bills being greatly reduced. That's incentive:).
The toll on your family? They will GAIN from this, gain years more living and loving you.

antsmith101 · 01-25-2008, 07:28 PM

I didnt tell my co-worker until I lost alot of noticable weight... not like they need to know.
told family and best friend.. they had no problem.

heidisue · 01-25-2008, 07:42 PM

Hi! I'm new here too! I'm thinking about the LAP-BAND® surgery. What are your thougts on it?

UltraGeek · 01-27-2008, 11:56 PM

I told everyone but my wife that I had my appendix removed. I still don't think I am ready to tell anyone.

-UG

AirKuhl · 01-28-2008, 06:48 PM

I thought about this too, and I will tell my family members beforehand and that's it. If anyone asks me afterwards if I had any "work" done, then I will tell them honestly. But I don't see myself volunteering the information. Not because I'm ashamed or anything, just that I believe that surgery is a private matter.

gometros · 01-30-2008, 01:09 PM

My wife and my kids were in on the decision, since I felt they had a right. My sisters and my mom knew and two close friends. I haven't told anyone else and when I get comments on my weight lose I just pass it off to going to a nutritionist.

Pizzaman · 01-30-2008, 04:25 PM

Only my wife knows. As far as everyone else is concerned, "I'm on a strict diet." Everyone understands and doesn't question it.

mediummike · 01-30-2008, 05:00 PM

I had the same comments from my wife as well (yes, it is a bit disappointing) butin the end she is supporting MY decision that I have been considering for well over 6 months of learning about the process, a lifetime of battling obesity, a psych eval and the support of both my pcp and surgeon. Did I mention this is MY decision. That is enough in the end. By the way - I am about the same age and weight as you and go for the band Feb 13 and I can't begin to explain how excited I am about this (MY) decision...

Fanny Adams · 01-30-2008, 06:32 PM

General comment, not directed at anyone in particular: You know every time one of us hides the fact that we've had WLS and passes off our weight loss as the result of willpower, diet and exercise alone, we reinforce the concept in other people's minds that the surgery is the "easy way out". The more successful we are in losing weight, the more other people will think "Hey, I know someone that dropped a ton of weight and they did it all by themselves, so that just proves that anyone can do it if they try!"

We have all come down the hard road of trying and failing at that approach, leading us to make this decision to have the surgery, so why are so many of us actively working to reinforce the idea that WLS is unnecessary?