Considering Dr. Kirshenbaum

Hey Michelle! Ain't love grand??!! It is so good to hear from you. Enjoy NYC with your man. I am so happy for you! Don't be a stranger, ok? He eats 2/3 and you eat 1/3 -- sounds like a perfect match to me. (By the way, I hope he knocks your socks off -- you deserve it!! )

Hey!
I'm not even gone 24 hours and look at your guys!!! I'll never catch up with my replies!

First of all, don't forget to weigh in the AM and post your loss!
This is the end of the 3rd week Weigh In! I think I lost, I hope I did! I've been really good! I have returned to the basics of the Band lifestyle and I haven't deviated once since Monday! I had a very bad weekend with lots of eating out and bad choices!

Anyway, don't forget Peeps!

Mini! A big hug to you! That's great news about your Dad! Wonderful news! Give that man a big Hug!!! You lucky Girl, You! I loved my Father with all my heart, but things weren't good growing up. They improved when he got older and started regretting his behavior -- he apologized to me and I felt like I finally had the Father, I always wanted. He died 2 years later in a car accident. I felt so cheated! BUT I thanked God for those two years! He had become a loving and sweet man! He actually wanted to spend time with me and I loved that!

Michelle, Lover Girl!
So good to hear from you! You're so happy! AND I am so pleased for you! Happy Father's Day to you my Dear friend! I know you have been your Sons' Mommy and Daddy! Enjoy your new Love -- He sounds dreamy! I went about 2 weeks being a very bad bander! I had no control over my food choices and I was so ashamed of myself! I have tried really hard this week to get back on that Bandwagon!

Munchkin, But the real question for you is this -- when you do get a goat in the backyard and an Otter in your bathtub, ARE you going to tell us about it? Because I think you're right, it will be time for that intervention!
I saw the news tonight about the flooding in Iowa! Have they initiated the Disaster protocol yet? I can't imagine having to evacuate a hospital. The other day, we had a tornado watch in Parker and the admin came in and told us to initiate the Tornado Watch protocol. Moving all patients to the inner halls! WHAT? 900gramers on Vents and CPAP? Are you kidding me? Thankfully it ended pretty quickly.

Okay! I love the new name IamAHotMamma!
But my name is going to be Iam4U2Dsre!
Boy, do I need a boyfriend!!!

Hugs!
Love,
dee~

btw, I want to be everyone's friend!

Ms Brandy!
The Weather Man!
Thanks for bring up that lovely memory!
I think I'm going to go and PB now!

Yup, he asked me the same question! He said, "one a scale from one to ten, how beautiful are you?" My reply was, "A 12! Of course!" He then said, "say no more, I'll be happy to Band you!"

Indeed! But I would give you a 13!

Thanks Sweetness!
Now, you're spoiling me!

Hey guys,
I was sad reading the cancer stories. I just had "anniversaries" a couple of weeks ago. May 27th was my husbands b-day; he would have turned 49 and May 28th would have been our 20th wedding anniversary. June 1 marked three years since his death. What a week! I think my mind was kept busy with my daughters high school graduation to dwell too much. I still can't believe it has been 3 years. A couple of days after my surgery (July 17) will be my mom's one year anniversary of her death. I finally went to her grave (it has been a long time) and I just can't breath when I see her name filled in next to my dad's. My dad died when I was only two and everytime we went to the grave, I never wanted to think about her side. Since we had the stone for so many years, all we had to do was some minor changes and we had "together at last" engraved. My mom never dated after my dad died and she was only 33 years old. Makes me feel guilty for even thinking about a social life again.

Mini: so glad to hear about your dad. When you talked about how your dad wouldn't want to accept his fate, it hit home. My husband never wanted to accept his fate either. He was sooo angry most of the time. I am sure his severe pain and knowing his diagnosis made him angry. I wish still to this day, that we could have had heartfelt talks about what he wanted if that day would come, but he never did. He never talked to the kids about their future. I guess I watched too many sappy movies about dying people making videos so their kids would remember them and how much he loved them. He never did. He did tell my brother (he made me leave the room) that he loved me and to take care of me and that he could have his tools!!!!!!!! That's it! He pushed alot of people away during his illness, but I knew the time was getting close because he made me call a couple of people for him to kinda make amends. He still never said a word to me about his feelings. Oh how I would have loved to hear the words. I miss hearing those words.

Well enough sad stuff....now on to my mental state right now. I have the surgery scheduled but I am having a hard time making my flight and hotel arrangements. I guess that makes my decision final and that scares me. My eating is sooo out of control right now that I feel I am not mentally ready. Is a person who is addicted to food able to make this band work?????? Food has so much control over me as I am sure most of you know. Does therapy really help you gain control over food? I have had no success with therapist for myself and for my daughter (OCD) for other problems. I don't know if it would help. I think you guys are better for me than a therapist. What are your thoughts?

Fatwidow!
Your words to Mini made me cry! I am so sorry to read your situation with your hubby. I know each of us deal with things like that differently. Men deal with things totally different than women do. They are just wired differently. It's unfortunate, I have to admit. My father was so hard headed. He fought for so long before admitting that he had done wrong and his bad behavior when we were kids affected us so negatively. It wasn't until he was in his mid 50's that he finally stopped and apologized. My father wasn't a faithful husband. He had so many affairs while I was growing up. We found him in other women's homes when he was supposed to be at work. All kinds of things! I could write a book. But he was my Dad and I loved him a lot.
Just as your husband dealt with his life ending differently than you would have --you will deal with your life as a widow differently than your Mom did. Don't feel bad about dating - when you feel you're ready.
Sweety, if anyone was a food addict, I was. I still find myself with the urge to stuff everything and anything in my mouth. On the anniversary of my marriage, I was mourning the loss of my marriage and I just wanted to eat! Eat Eat Eat! Just like LapDancer speaks to her head hunger, I had to do the same. I had to say outloud, "NO! I deserve better than that!" I do think it's possible to be successful with the band. It's not easy, because you're fighting a lifetime of an addiction to food. I've used it to celebrate, to comfort, to soothe, and to stuff those sad feelings deep inside me. My personality is changing -- I'm having to deal with those feelings. The feelings of losing my babies before they were born, the feelings of hating myself, the feelings of losing my marriage -- on and on... But allowing myself to mourn these things, cry and then go on with my life, is helping a lot. I have some really good friends and I am able to talk to them when I'm feeling down. I'm admitting that I'm human and these loved ones in my life are there because they actually love me and it is okay for me to be weak and vunerable to them. It's okay for me to ask for help and support. I'm accepting the help of others. Something I never did before.
Keep going in the direction of getting that Band, Girl! Make those reservations -- you have your date -- keep going... make your plan and follow thru.
We're here for you, Honey! Use us!
Love and Hugs,
dee~
BTW, you better come here for your surgery! I want to meet you!!! Missy!!!

Fatwidow, I'm sorry to have stirred up painful memories for you. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to lose your husband. And it must have made it even harder to yearn to hear him tell you his feelings. I agree with dee - men have very different ways of handling things than do women. We crave comfort, support, kind words, etc. It's in our nature, and it is not in theirs.

As for the out of control eating - I have been completely out of control since I scheduled my surgery. I know it's ridiculous, but I keep thinking "oh, I need to stuff my face with these chips now because I won't be able to later", etc. And then I feel horrible about it later. Pretty addictive behavior. But I think there are lots of people who have been in the same spot and seem to have made tremendous strides with the band. I mean, none of us are/were healthy eaters or we wouldn't have ended up so fat! It's not like everybody on this board was fit and trim and had great eating habits before their surgery. So I just keep telling myself that if they can do it, I can too.

This is the bestest bunch of people ever. Be sure to come here often.

You deserve it!

I was sad to read about your dad's behavior when you were young, but it's great that you were able to have a good relationship with him in the end. I am estranged from my mother and it haunts me - a lot.

Tied2bfit: You must be heaven-sent. With all that you have had to endure in your life, you are sooo positive. You are there for other people. I don't know all of your background, but it sounds like a hard life. Who needs a therapist when I have you guys. At least you know EXACTLY how it feels to be in my shoes. Skinny people don't understand. They think you should just do it....no problem!!!! You always seem to hit the nail on the head with your advice. Thank you so much.

I hope that you will have the time to pick me up from the hospital the day of my surgery. I know that you will be off from work, so let me know if it is still a possibility. If not, I will ask someone else.

((((((Fatwidow)))))))
I can't add any more to what our dear Dee has said so beautifully. Just know that I'm sorry that you've had to deal with so much loss and I'm glad you're here. If there is anyone here who's a food addict, it's yours truly. It is still a struggle, even with the band. I can't lie. But it is doable. For the first time, I have some control. You deserve to be healthy and you deserve to be happy and your children deserve to have you for as long as they can. Make your reservations -- take a chance; you won't regret it. People with addictions (like me) need tools to stay clean -- sometimes it's friends, sometimes therapy, sometimes faith, sometimes medications, sometimes a message board, sometimes a lap band, sometimes all of these and more. It's ok. And if God puts the right man in your path, go for it!!

Mini - hubby's surgery is Tuesday and I wish I could fly Munchkin down here to take care of him (and me) afterwards!!

Good night my banditos!

Night night friends.

Fatwidow!
I talked to Bookholder at Red Robin and she'd like to pick you up from the hospital on the day of your surgery, since she's going to stay the night with you. I'd like to come over in the morning. If you don't mind. I can take you where ever you need to go and if you need to go to the airport I can take you there. Or I can take you to see Dr. K if you have to see him before you leave town.
I'm going to Cheyenne on the 19th. But I'll be free on the 18th.