Losing too much weight - for me

VegasGrace · 04-02-2008, 02:59 PM

I'm on maintenace but my weight is getting lower than I want it to be. I've upped my calories but the scales still go down a tad every week. I'm 12 pounds below goal. I was aiming for normal to slightly overweight according the the bmi charts.

Going for another slight unfill on Monday.

Those at goal and not losing anymore.... how did you do it? I mean, how do you know as in KNOW that you are at a good spot? Do you still have restriction? Do you really have to struggle with what you eat to maintain?

I was really hoping I was done, and for a while I thought I was. I ate normally (not like before preband), as in eat til full. Not indulging in junk all the time like before preband, either. But I just can't seem to eat enough. I tried yesterday to eat MORE even though I wasn't hungery...but I just couldn't get it down.

Any advice or tips is greatly appreciated. We always focus on 'losing weight' with the band but maintenace is just as important.

salsa1877 · 04-02-2008, 03:15 PM

I am just starting into the maintenance phase and my doc had me start it early because he and the nutritionist said that it can take 10 or so pounds before your body knows when to adjust. I like you am tighter that I would like to be, but still looser than you are (I am gathering that from other posts that you have written). I am really just trying to get in as balanced of meals as I can. I went to my nut and she gave me the foods I should be eating at every meal. If you would like a copy of that, PM me and i will give you what she gave me. I am supposed to be getting to 1500 calories a day, but I struggle to get to 1300 because I don't want to add in crap foods. She thinks 1500 is going to be too low for me because I have lost so quickly and I was obviously in a major calorie deficiency (which is what you want when you lose weight, but not when you want to STOP losing weight!)

babygrl1234 · 04-02-2008, 07:02 PM

Maybe a bit more than a "slight unfill" would do you some good.

Jachut · 04-02-2008, 07:12 PM

It sounds like you really may have to consider an unfill Grace. It doesnt sound likely that you'll suddenly start gaining. And that's the beauty of it, you can always get a bit more put back in if you find yourself going in the opposite direction.

Turler · 04-02-2008, 07:21 PM

What does your doctor say Grace?
I would think if s/he is concerned about you losing too much weight they'd unfill you or test you for some underlying cause.

VegasGrace · 04-02-2008, 08:19 PM

Thanks everyone. Tried to make it clear in my post that I am not underweight by any means. My goal was 150 and I'm now at 139. But there are many at my height who think 139 is too much to weigh.

I don't think a total unfill is in order as there are no complications. The band is for life and my doctor said for maintenance you do slight unfills til your weight stablizes.

I'll let you know what happens Monday.

Bel · 04-02-2008, 08:29 PM

hi,
I have been on maintenance for something like 5yrs. I can eat what i want, i can eat almost as much as anyone else, get a little pain but i generally CAN eat small amounts or large, depends what i feel like lol
I usually have 1 cup meals during the day and 2 cups for dinner. Still feel content for up to 4 hours but my body just stopped losing weight when it had lost enough luckily.
I find a good test is if you can drink 1 ltr of water fairly quickly and you have slight discomfort then you are at the sweet spot, works for me anyways.
I can still lose weight if i chose to though, its just a balancing act and takes more work.
Bel

Turler · 04-02-2008, 08:39 PM

Oh, sorry. I guess I'm just confused then. You seem concerned about your weight and unsure of what to do.

You have spoken of this a few times and I wonder why you wouldn't get an unfill...even just a little. I realize the Band is for life, but there are many here that have reached or exceeded goal and don't have any fill in their bands. My understanding is that they can now live a 'normal' life, eating normal portions (because by now they've learned to do that) and if they were to start gaining, they can get fills to keep them from doing so. The Band is not just for weight loss, but also for maintainence.

I'm sure you look great to everyone, but you don't seem to feel the same way about yourself. Maybe you should take pictures. Sometimes we don't see ourselves the same as others until we see it in a photo (just like being overweight...we don't know how bad it is until it rears it's ugly head in a picture!) Maybe you just aren't used to looking at yourself at a healthy weight. If you don't like what you see, you can fix it. You have control now!

I really hope you find some peace with all this. You seem so troubled. Let us know how you're doing.
~C

Chickie · 04-02-2008, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GraceUtah

But there are many at my height who think 139 is too much to weigh.

That horse is dead honey, and it doesn't deserve the beating you are giving it.

If you are "suffering from malnutrition and low potassium" like you said in another thread, YOU ARE TOO TIGHT and need an unfill. If you are "spitting up" like you said in that same thread only yesterday, YOU ARE TOO TIGHT and need an unfill.

Why is this so hard for you to understand?

VegasGrace · 04-03-2008, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bel

hi,
I have been on maintenance for something like 5yrs. I can eat what i want, i can eat almost as much as anyone else, get a little pain but i generally CAN eat small amounts or large, depends what i feel like lol
I usually have 1 cup meals during the day and 2 cups for dinner. Still feel content for up to 4 hours but my body just stopped losing weight when it had lost enough luckily.
I find a good test is if you can drink 1 ltr of water fairly quickly and you have slight discomfort then you are at the sweet spot, works for me anyways.
I can still lose weight if i chose to though, its just a balancing act and takes more work.
Bel

Thank you so much for writing in. This is what I was wanting to know. So you found your balance. Do you mind sharing how long that took for you....did you ever have to go for another unfill....or a fill for gaining?

I think the quantity of food is about right for me. I eat a cup and am happy. But for some reason, I'm still losing.

Do you think my doctor will let me do that water thing? ...drinking a liter in his office, maybe I should bring a bottle and try that. He gives a cup of water and has me gulp during an adjustment..but just a few swallows.

You are an inspiration! I hope I'm like you one day.

Turler · 04-03-2008, 03:27 PM

Grace,

I am a newbie...I'm not banded yet (April 10th). I use this forum for education, encouragement, what to expect, etc. Your posts confuse me!
I feel like you are just seeking attention. If your doctor thought you were in danger of malnourishment, you wouldn't get any choices in the state of your band! You doctor would want you to be healthy. If you are suffering from low potassium, etc, then someone in the medical field is aware of this (assuming you are referring to lab work) and would correct the situation. I feel like you run all over this board asking everyone the same stuff over and over, but not getting want you want to hear.
You just responded to Bel that you are happy with what you eat, but yet you are confused as to why you continue to lose weight. I think you want to lose weight and I think you want the attention. Maybe you should be seeing a doctor of psychology to get these issues sorted out that you are having.
I am not trying to be a b**ch, but I'm confused by you! Why would you suffer (as you say you are), but spend all the time posting on here looking for sympathy and attention? Maybe you could offer me some insight to help me understand.
~C

VegasGrace · 04-03-2008, 04:32 PM

Hi Turler, thanks for posting. If you've reached goal, how long did it take for you to find your balance...as in your weight evening out? And did you ever have to go back for a fill because you gained?

I'm so glad they have this thread called life at goal. I can offer experiences when someone posts, like we all can. And it's wonderful to get input from different types of people thru all stages of this process.

shortgal · 04-03-2008, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Turler

Grace,

I am a newbie...I'm not banded yet (April 10th). I use this forum for education, encouragement, what to expect, etc. Your posts confuse me!
I feel like you are just seeking attention. If your doctor thought you were in danger of malnourishment, you wouldn't get any choices in the state of your band! You doctor would want you to be healthy. If you are suffering from low potassium, etc, then someone in the medical field is aware of this (assuming you are referring to lab work) and would correct the situation. I feel like you run all over this board asking everyone the same stuff over and over, but not getting want you want to hear.
You just responded to Bel that you are happy with what you eat, but yet you are confused as to why you continue to lose weight. I think you want to lose weight and I think you want the attention. Maybe you should be seeing a doctor of psychology to get these issues sorted out that you are having.
I am not trying to be a b**ch, but I'm confused by you! Why would you suffer (as you say you are), but spend all the time posting on here looking for sympathy and attention? Maybe you could offer me some insight to help me understand.
~C

Not wanting an unfill is very common. We have failed at so many diets and even if we lost the weight we re-gained it back so many times. It's easy to become "mentally dependent" on being filled and tight and so worried the weight will come back.

There have been many threads on the forum about people being too tight and unable to eat almost anything and yet they resist a small unfill. Makes no sense, right?

After reading many posts by Grace, I believe she does not always eat the most healthiest of foods in the proper quantity (have heard many times about Mt. Dew, M and M's, dorito's and how a lot of food is slimed back up, BUT perhaps she just needs to hear MANY times that a SLIGHT unfill could be just the fix she needs. I am guessing that she is worried about once again overeating and the weight will come back on. These are demons we all fight st some point.

A reasonable fear but could lead to an unhealthy outcome. A refill after a slight unfill is always a possibility but convincing our head, not just our stomach is not easy for some.

I think she needs more time to come to that conclusion.

Just like so many of us needing lots of time before we realized we could not lose the weight on our own without WLS.

Sorry Grace, not trying to speak for you, just felt a response was needed to the post. I hope you're not offended. That was not my intent, but I can be bluntly honest sometimes.

Turler · 04-03-2008, 04:47 PM

Thank you both for your responses!

Grace: As I stated before, I am not yet banded so I cannot respond to your questions. I like to hear the experiences from the people at goal and do feel that I am (nor should be) banned to the Intro and Pre-Op threads. I am simply trying to understand this constant grief you have that you believe you are too thin, yet won't do anything to correct it. I feel that my "tone of voice" is being misunderstood. I am concerned about the malnutrition and your labs (I am a nurse). I am confused about your eating habits (posted by yourself) and I am curious why you won't address these issues with a professional instead of here?

Shortgal: I am grateful that you also recognize the strange behaviors and have also seen the other posts. I see that it can take time for some people to see the demons. I would hope that she has had a lot of support and encouragement here to get these issues addressed, but this is not the place for that kind of help. You are right, it's not making sense to me. I guess I'm frustrated compounded by the preop liquid diet! LOL

Jachut · 04-03-2008, 04:47 PM

Grace, I'm right with you on losing weight on an "ordinary" diet - including ALL foods in moderation. I believe junk foods form a part of a healthy diet when they're treated as "sometimes" foods. Its OK to go out to dinner and enjoy it, its OK to sometimes enjoy a cooked breakfast on Sundays with your family, its even OK to have a small bit of chocolate every day.

But when you take the path of including too many of those foods on too regular a basis (which by your descriptions you appear to have done) and you rely on a tight band to get you through you can still lose weight with a band. Doesnt mean its the best way to go. The trouble is then if you ever lose your fill you've not learned a darn thing about choosing foods wisely. If you ever begin to eat in the quantities that unbanded people do again (like if you have an unfill) you're going to be very prone to weight gain because your choices arent great. Its right to fear an unfill in those circumstances.

So the sensible path is not to allow yourself to become malnourished, its to start to eat PROPERLY. Have a bit of an unfill and eat some real food and cut the sodas etc. out.

Grace, if you really are suffering issues like lack of potassium, you've got more to worry about than whether your collarbones are showing and you probably do need to halt your weight loss.

In ordinary circumstances, there's plenty of people around who just have to accept that they're not curvy, they're thin just the same way that some of us have to accept that we will NEVER have the very thin figure we desire. All of a sudden, I"m devastated by the fact that I appear to have misplaced my boobs. I have none. I've always had a great pair! I dont know where they went, but THIS is where my body took me, I did not starve to get here, this is just me, its how I'm meant to be - and I can fix it with PS if I wanted to. Let your body tell you where it wants to be. It is going to be very difficult to maintain a weight that's too high for YOU just as it is difficult to maintain a weight that's too low for you.

Truly, without going back into the whole skinny is ugly thing, I really think you've got some head issues that need sorting. What on earth are you so afraid of?. You might stop losing in 5 more pounds anyway, there's nothing to say you're going to fade away. You're not underweight, you're a healthy weight. Enjoy it! And eat something decent.

Seriously, the band does NOTHING for our heads. We still have to work on those ourselves.

Its very uncomplicated. If you're losing and you dont want to, have an unfill and eat more.