How did you deal with thoughts of failure?

juliegeraci · 01-04-2008, 02:35 PM

Go get a fill and get your butt moving!

georgia girl · 01-04-2008, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juliegeraci

Go get a fill and get your butt moving!

Wow, you don't play do you? Just kidding, I know that's what I need to do. I go for an assessment next Wednesday and hopefully I will get a fill.

This is about the point where I would start to stray when I did diets prior to getting banded. I can't help but think about that. I just need to get that out of my head and move on!

juliegeraci · 01-04-2008, 02:47 PM

Hi Georgia Girl, you can do this. Restriction is the first thing you should look at. Secondly, your protein and water intake. Lastly your exercise. The band will work for you. Recommit today. You will not be a failure if you follow the 800-1k calories a day which is recommended for bandsters. You can do this!

georgia girl · 01-04-2008, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juliegeraci

Hi Georgia Girl, you can do this. Restriction is the first thing you should look at. Secondly, your protein and water intake. Lastly your exercise. The band will work for you. Recommit today. You will not be a failure if you follow the 800-1k calories a day which is recommended for bandsters. You can do this!

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm going to start tracking my calories again at The Daily Plate. I did a lot better when I was doing this. I just got finished doing the elliptical, it was tough since I haven't done it in a while, but I did it!

renewedhope · 01-04-2008, 03:00 PM

Hey Girl!! You have been a big inspiration to me as well!! I know exactly what you are feeling. Those feelings of failure just seem to keep creeping up even though you know you are making good progress. You were banded a month ahead of me, we were pretty close to the same starting weight and our histories sound so similar with PCOS and all. If you need an accountability partner I would be more than happy to be "band buddies" I am nowhere neer you location wise, I am in Texas. We could get together and chat each week or even talk on the phone. PM me if you want.. I was in this same funk, but am doing much better this week. Maybe we will be in our funks at different times and can help each other out!! You can do this. You have already proven that. Hang in there!!

olemelissa · 01-04-2008, 03:08 PM

First off.....you are doing exceptionally well. Don't let anything make you feel differently! I know it is frustrating to lose in large quantities with sometimes little effort, and then when you start working really hard, it seems like the scales barely move. It is too easy to beat yourself up about it and feel like a failure. I used to think about how I would fail at my other diets when I had a bad day and the weight would just come back in mega doses. But this time you are not going to fail. That band is keeping its end up, even when you don't feel like it is. After my first three months, it was Thanksgiving and I realized that I could eat what felt like too much....and with ease. I got a fill the first of December and sometimes I feel it and sometimes I don't. I actually gained a few pounds over the holidays and have just now gotton back to 250. I am determined to lose 10 more pounds by February because we want to have another baby and I feel like I better make the best of it this month and next in hopes that I can get pregnant by March. (I have to try to plan pregnancies around holiday time!) Anyway....not to ramble on, I just wanted to say that I have been in your shoes. I went from losing 16 lbs. in October to only losing 3 in November. It was awful, but a fill was in order. I probably need another fill, but since I want to have my 2nd (and last) child before I'm 30, I will do without!

georgia girl · 01-04-2008, 04:35 PM

Renewed, you are so kind. I would love to be band buddies! I will definitely PM you and we can chat. Thanks for all your support, we will get through this!

Olemelissa
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope everything works out so can get pregnant by march. Good luck to you and thanks again.

**Jack** · 01-04-2008, 09:54 PM

.....the only time I found myself thinking of 'failure' is when I find myself looking at the frustration of temporary obstacles rather than focusing on my goal and how to get there....

**Jack** · 01-04-2008, 10:05 PM

I believe by letting the emotion of 'feeling of failure' control us, that is little different than 'eating for comfort'...which is a misnomer in the first place.

Getting to the cause rather than the symptom, is how we solve problems rather than remain merely enablers of dysfunctional habits.

We can continue in frustrating ourselves by flawed emotional flutterings, or we can create rational behavior patterns that produce new results.

"If we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we've always got"...

something has to change....

Let it be now. THAT is what changed my focus from 'failure' and associated frustrations, to 'success'....

Am I a failure because I'm 30# from goal? Or I didn't lose a single pound in 18 months?

Or am I a success because a little over 5 years ago I was 377# on CPAP taking 200 units of insulin per day and don't do either now?

If the pioneers focused on the mountains, they would have stopped in the Plains. Or on the other side of the Mississippi River.

Success is obtained by keeping movement toward your goal regardless.

**Jack** · 01-04-2008, 10:07 PM

Mind and Body are One!!!

If we let our body-cavity (read stomach) control our mind, by eating until we FEEL all those crummy ways....we do feel like a failure.

COURAGE~~ACTION~~NOW!!!

georgia girl · 01-04-2008, 10:55 PM

Jack, you are a ray of light, as always. Thanks for the words of wisdom. I don't know why I beat myself up so much, but I know deep down that everything will be fine and I will suceed. Food will not control me anymore! Thanks

TheGh0st · 01-05-2008, 01:20 AM

OK it is way too late for me to be posting responsibly. Forgive me for the "Korn" factor. But here goes....

I just got done watching a 4-hour silly Fantasy mini-series with Beau Bridges no less. I know I'm a geek. But two korny phrases kept popping up in the movie that I couldn't get out of my head. The more I heard them the more I felt them appropriate comments for this thread and for my own journey.

"Only through belief can one truly see"
and
"Faith preceeds the miracle."

In other words for us to see ourselves reaching our goals we must first believe (or have Faith) that they are possible.

OK you can all stop gaggin now.

wombat712 · 01-05-2008, 08:21 AM

lol Ghost - no gagging here :D

I believe what you say is true. We have to believe and have faith that we can do it. We start sabotaging our efforts because we fear success - whether it's career, relationships, weight or whatever.

I'm not into "positive thinking" on it's own but I do believe that keeping your mentality focused on what you CAN do rather than what you CANNOT do makes a big difference on your attitude. Those visual techniques of seeing yourself at your goal (in your mind) helps as well.

hmmmm, I think I'm rambling and repeating myself

wombat

ajoneen · 01-05-2008, 09:57 AM

Today you are smaller and banded with hope. One year ago you were bigger and unbanded perhaps looking into Lap Band. Two years ago bigger, unbanded, thinking about trying another diet. Three years ago bigger, unbanded, kicking yourself for overindulging over the holidays without a clue as to how to help yourself.
You get it.
It took a while to get to your heaviest it will take a while to get to your lightest.
I'd say good luck but you don't need it. You have the band!

georgia girl · 01-05-2008, 10:53 AM

Thanks everyone!

I think part of the reason I'm thinking about failure is because the weight melted off of me for the first 2 months, really, really fast. Now is has slowed down tremendously. I think I had an unrealistic idea that it would just continue to melt off really fast. I'm not the most patient person anyway.

I was wondering if you guys could answer a question for me. I've had 3 fills and I only have restriction for about a week after each fill, then it's back to being able to eat whatever. Should I be worried that I might have a leak in my band, or is this what happens until you reach your sweet spot?