Do you ever get frustrated with band babies?

Beka · 11-18-2007, 10:21 PM

If you don't like what the 'babies' are asking why not just ignore it. I must admit sometimes I find it hard to get around this site or can't quite figure out what is meant by a certain explanation and need clarification so maybe some of the questions I have asked are 'dumb' but if your child kept asking the same question would you call them dumb. Come on people what happened to a bit of compassion and understanding from the supposed 'older and wiser'.

Chickie · 11-18-2007, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marybrid19

how quickly we forget where we come from

No. I haven't forgotten. As I am sure that the other ladies here will never forget how far they have come. It's not something that you can push to the back of your mind.

When we see questions asked in the form of a new thread half a dozen times or more a week, it tends to get a bit old answering the question. And a lot of us "Oldies" do tend to ignore them (I'll put my hand up to not answering questions).

We do have a very handy search feature that is free for everyone to use, as well as a "FAQ" thread as a sticky in (I think) the General section.

So it's not like the information is not out there to find, it's just a matter of having a look around first before posting a thread like "What's a PB / How do I get a signature / How do I get a ticker?"

And I will agree 100% with LJM. Some people are NOT looking for advice. They are looking for a way to justify behaviour.

Jachut · 11-18-2007, 11:59 PM

The thing is about old timers and wisdom (Tami, I'm so glad to know that something I once said impressed ONE person, lol) is that people dont want to hear it.

i've lost count of the number of times I've said something only to be howled down, and argued with.

Like with the goal weight thread. Whilst we all have to be careful of reporting our own experience as absolute truth (which it isnt), I cannot fathom how people who have never BEEN a normal weight before will argue with you that losing that last 20 or 30lb doesnt make more difference than losing the first 80. That thread was a prime example of how people just do not want to hear the truth about the band.

You just give up after a while. You figure someone else will answer all the FAQ that you've answered a million times and with the nitty gritty stuff like whether you should lose that last 30 or whether exercise is really necessary, people just get nasty because they dont want to hear it or they have a justification for why they're different from everyone else on the planet. I wasted enough energy on that goal weight thread to last me 20 years, I'm not bothering anymore. People will work these things out for themselves and if they dont and they never have the joy of actually getting to normal, healthy weight, or of being really really fit, well that's not my problem.

So whilst I dont lose patience with band babies, not at all, I was one and I asked questions too, I really think that sharing the wisdom is not really what people want either. They only want to hear validation of their behaviours, not the real answers.

Chickie · 11-19-2007, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jachut

The thing is about old timers and wisdom (Tami, I'm so glad to know that something I once said impressed ONE person, lol) is that people dont want to hear it.

I have felt this for a long time.

AthinnerDenise · 11-19-2007, 12:58 AM

Very well said, Jacqui.

Sometimes I will answer something that has been answered over
and over again. Sometimes, I am just not in the mood.

I really think that they should make that Frequently Asked Questions in BOLD so that it's very apparent on the main page.
That and Wendall's lap band 101 and 102.

The questions that bothers us most are questions regarding going against their doctor's post op diet. They barely had the surgery and want to know if they hurt their band because they ate something while they are supposed to be HEALING.

footballmom104 · 11-19-2007, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WASaBubbleButt

I get frustrated with something different....

"Today is day #1 of my liquid diet and I'm STARRRRVING and I cheated!" One day of liquids? What will happen in the post op phase?

Or...

"I was banded yesterday and today I ate ham, got stuck, and now I can't keep water down."

Hellooo? The diets are there for a reason.

Then we have:

"I was banded a week ago and the pain was worse than childbirth!"

Oh please... I hate the drama.

I'm kind of looking forward to the liquid diet phase. I've read posts where people say it had a detoxifying effect on them and they lost their cravings for sugar, carbs and other things bandsters are supposed to stay away from (which I know will be issues for me! ;))

jelbel · 11-19-2007, 12:29 PM

Or how about when family members try to tell you what to do and have never even read anything about the Lap -band?
Or when they tell you that you can eat little,but many times a day. Well, that's not allowed! Or when family members are calling to check how much you lost? Or is it just my family?

VegasGrace · 11-19-2007, 12:40 PM

I admire people who do research and take a leap of faith....

not everyone can understand everything...I still don't get why people get a tax refund.

VegasGrace · 11-19-2007, 12:42 PM

To clarify, I understand the tax laws...

what I don't get is why so many Americans give the govt an interest free loan ... and then they get excited when they get their own money back in the form of a refund check

that's what doesn't make sense.

babygrl1234 · 11-19-2007, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GraceUtah

To clarify, I understand the tax laws...

what I don't get is why so many Americans give the govt an interest free loan ... and then they get excited when they get their own money back in the form of a refund check

that's what doesn't make sense.

Oh I can explain that one.

I suck totally with saving money. Slowly I am getting better but I really am horrible with taking care of cash. If I have it, I spend it. So if I let the government make the interest off of it, at least when I get it I can put it to good use (like home renovation stuff) instead of piddling it away on little things.

Sunshine2 · 11-19-2007, 02:00 PM

What amazes me is when people get the band and then say "I am not losing weight, or the Band is not working".
Well, what do you eat?

"Well, I still eat ice cream and cookies, but the band doesn't stop me from eating these things, the band is not working."

Okay - here is a tip EVERYONE please understand the Band is a tool and nothing more than a tool. It will "help" you, but it won't do all the work for you.

Everyone will feel restriction at different levels, you may feel it at 1.0 cc's and others won't until their 4.0cc' (depending on what type of band you have).

Okay, 2nd. Read all the info about the band BEFORE surgery, understand, soft foods, like ice cream, will go completely thru the band.

Okay, I'm off of my soap box now.

I do think the Dr.'s are failing to educate their patients if a patient goes into getting the band and does not understand. My dr. made me take a test before he would give me the band to make sure I understood how it works, what to eat and what not to eat. etc.

Best wishes to everyone.

Sunshine2 · 11-19-2007, 02:07 PM

To add to my post, I think there are a lot of questions that may seem silly to some, but to newbies, they feel more comfortable asking us on the board, instead of their doctor. Or their doctor answers in such big long medical terms, they really don't understand etc.

So questions and such really don't bother me, its when people, new or old, eat what they know they shouldn't then blame the band. I'm not saying we all don't make mistakes and eat things we shouldn'g, LORD knows I have, plenty of times, However, I blame myself, not the band. The band works for me if I follow the rules. The rules are not easy to follow, but if you follow them, success will come, or should come unless there are other medical reasons.

I try and help people with questions, sometimes others might have better insight.

The point is, the band is a learning process, we all have to deal with it in our own way, but the rules are the same. The company who produces the band has a list of them as well, I read them and have them posted on my refridge. When I am not losing, its 99% of the time because I'm not following all the band rules. One of the rules is 30 min a day of exercise.

morningoasis811 · 11-19-2007, 02:35 PM

I'm a newbie and find all threads to be very helpful. I never seek advice, I look to learn from other's expereince with the same thing I'm going through. Every BODY is different.

It is very hard to find people around me who have had the band. I can name 10 with the bypass, but I had to dig and dig through my network to find people that other people knew to get advice from before I got the band. I didn't find THIS website till a week before I got my surgery. I had done a ton of research, looked at studies and at obesity help... but again, most experience is for the bypass.

As a newbie I was asking a TON of questions, even to bypass patients. I was asking about the mental challenges, eating with others or spouses, obsession over weight, is it weird not to be hungry. Some bandsters and bypassers were like "wow, that's really good you're thinking about these things... I just went for it" I was astonished at how many people just jumped in to this. I needed to know everything for elective surgery. I doubted myself, my decision... how do i know I could keep it off with the band? I wanted to make sure I was in good mental condition to make the decision... there is a lot that goes in to this and it is a very serious thing.

Thanks to everyone who posts RnR's, inspiration, positive and negative. Yes some is scary for newbies, but you HAVE to know these things before you elect to get this done. Know the statistics, talk to real people! you must. We are all here for support we can't get anywhere else! we need each other on here. Thank god for the internet!

WASaBubbleButt · 11-19-2007, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JDUB0414

wsb, I totally agree with what your saying. I actually clicked on section, Life After, because I wanted to know what it feels like to be at goal and living a life we are all waiting for. To find this this thread...it kind of took me for suprise. I've been reading and not posting so much since I started my process in May. I've researched and read all I think that I can about getting a Lap Band, but that's just like having a baby...you can read everything about pregnancy and having a baby, but it will probably be different from what you've read. Talking to people about experiences is the greatest thing...it gives you hope. I'm a teacher, a high school teacher at that, so it's hard for me to get frustrated at people when they ask me the same question, or what I fell may be a simple minded questions. I learned a long time ago, that people may just not know what's going on, so they have to ask quesitons to get that information needed. There is no such thing as a silly question.

I agree with people following the rules of their doctors, but, we all have been told by our PCP at some point in our overweight lives, that we should eat heathy, and exercise, so we can loose weight and feel better. Did we do this??? Probably not since we have gotten the band or will be getting the band. We all make mistakes...it's about fighting an addiction also.

While I understand your point I have to clarify something here.

There is a difference between what you are talking about and those who frustrate us.

Example... I can't do the pre op diet, it's just soooo hard! I can't make it ONE day with the pre op diet but liquids for 3 weeks after surgery... if you dare to mention the post op diet and how one cannot mess with the stages of the diet they come out fighting and acting like they know better than those with a band. They aren't looking for advice or support, they are looking for someone to validate their specific behavior. If someone can't make it through ONE day of a pre op diet, would I be correct to point out that they need to discuss this with their doc because post op is up to 4 weeks of liquids? Yet when I do that I am told I am not supportive and essentially I don't know what I'm talking about.

Well, I do know what I'm talking about, I am supportive, and there is a problem here that NEEDS to be discussed with the doc before surgery. Not after surgery when eating solids caused a slip and the person has to go back into surgery. Isn't it better to prepare for this ahead of time?

Or another favorite, "I am only eating 200 calories a day and doing hard cardio for two hours daily and I'm not losing a thing!"

It's pretty hard to maintain a 400lb body on 200 calories a day and two hours of cardio and not lose a bloody pound in a month. It's quite unrealistic. When they finally write out their daily menu it is more like 2000 calories and hard cardio consists of running to the frig for more food.

If you suggest they take a look at their daily menu then we are met with hostility and anger.

What you are talking about and what we are talking about are two very different things.

WASaBubbleButt · 11-19-2007, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footballmom104

I'm kind of looking forward to the liquid diet phase. I've read posts where people say it had a detoxifying effect on them and they lost their cravings for sugar, carbs and other things bandsters are supposed to stay away from (which I know will be issues for me! ;))

It's not detoxifying as much as carbtoxifying. <--My new word, I just made it up). ;)

When you eat carbs it affects your blood sugar and you end up craving more and more. That's why your hunger is minimal while doing Atkins. You aren't having the blood sugar spikes AFTER you get into ketosis.

I can't eat sugar, just can't. If I drink a glass of OJ in the morning I'm history for the rest of the day. I can't cram enough food in my mouth. If I only eat good carbs and cut out ALL white carbs and sugar I'm good to go. I am not hungry. But if I eat a candy bar, for example, I'm toast for the rest of the day. I spend the afternoon sitting on my couch like a big carb slug eating my way through evening.

Doing liquids the right way (not drinking things with sugar and carbs) makes the post op diet much easier. You are only dealing with head hunger and not head hunger and stomach hunger. You lose weight, the diet is doable, you heal, you move on to the next stage.