I hardly know where to begin. There are so many possibilities. There are so many fears. I know that others share them, but it's so terrifying when it's you. I've been reading so much about all the good and bad things that could happen, and they all frighten me--the bad things. Will I be someone who can't wait to have my band removed? Will I love my band? Will I even be able to keep up the exercise regime I have in place for myself now? I see myself getting fatter and fatter unless I do something. I'm so scared, of needles, of the breathing tube, which I probably won't even know about.

I wonder how many people take a long time, asking themselves questions before taking the plunge? So many people are excited, and I would be too, especially once I could see the weight falling away.

I have to remind myself that every step I take could lead me to my own banding. I had blood work down. Each time I turn on my computer, I think, I'll just let it go, because I'm letting my fear rule. But there's part of me that wants to talk to my doctor, and I'll make the appointment, and do just that. I think my insurance will cover the surgery, and that's a good thing. So, it may take a year, but my journey begins here. Courage, they say, is feeling the fear, but going ahead anyway.

Here I go!