Today sucks. I am really down. I have gone off the deepend with my eating. Since my stomach thing started i have lost restriction and have gone overboard eating unhealthy stuff and not really enjoying it. I am over eating to see if I can make myself feel anything, and alas I can't. I don't know what's going on. I'm scared, and kinda down...really down. I wish I knew what was going on, wish things were back to normal. I guess this is just a wave i'm going to have to ride out.

Malice X Girl

Today is rough. For two days i have done amazing, perhaps too good because I don't think I have gotten my calories in. Today though it's all I can do not to drive to Martinez restraunt and get me dinner togo. I will not do it though, that's why I have taken to typing to get my mind off of it. Dinner is in the oven. I've worked out for two days, I feel good about that but I am finding out that it's harder today. I really don't want to go. We shall see how I feel after dinner. It's funny,...

Malice X Girl

One of the best things about Monday's is the fact that it is not only a brand new day, but a brand new week. Which is a great day to start over, a clean slate for the entire week. Today i've done pretty good. I had chicken chili at Jasons Deli <--less than a cup, 4 oz of low fat ice cream, 70 calories worth of blue bunny bars, 1 Jenny Craig desert. All in all i'd say I had 700 calories at most today. I typically don't crave sweets as much as I have been lately though. Tonight I will eat...

Malice X Girl

I have no idea what is going on with me this weekend. Seriously I have for the first time in a long time, knowingly sabatogued myself and I feel as if I need to figure out why if I want to stop it, and I do. I think that it would be nieve of me to think that this is just me craving stuff, like it's a chemical thing going on in my body, no I don't know what or why but I think it's psychological. Why am I backing off of my success? I am so proud of myself, I love the way i'm looking and the success...

Malice X Girl