7 months out
Posted 04-15-2008 at 11:18 AM by Jennie1976
I posted this in a thread, but it's SO how I feel right now.
I can't believe we are 7 months out! I think of what was going through my head seven months ago. I was so embarrassed to just exist.
I hated the way I walked. I didn't walk. I waddled.
I hated the way I felt around my husband. Every time he told me I was sexy, I just KNEW he was lying (even though I know NOW he really felt that way).
I got SO tired when I was hiking. I wouldn't let it stop me, but I had to work SO much harder.
I couldn't get in on my horse without the saddle slipping down the side (no matter how tight it was). Even if I did manage not to move the saddle, I couldn't pull my weight up there. Just the other day, I almost flew over the other side of him because I pulled myself up TOO much!
The other teacher I work with is also large. I felt like we were the fat team of teachers on campus.
I worried about getting pregnant. I'm going to start trying next month, and I knew my weight would be an issue...and I would feel like a failure all over again.
ALL that has changed in seven months. I don't worry about going to Disneyland or Six Flags. I know I'll fit in all the rides. I'm going to Washington DC this June. I know I"ll fit in the seat just fine. I know that if I fall off my horse, I won't cause a small earthquake! And I know I"ll be able to get back up! I can shop in the normal parts of certain stores that go up to larger sizes...such as Old Navy, Target, and Walmart. I double-duched with my students. I know that, even though I'm a size 18 now, by next month, these clothes will be too big to wear.
And, I know, that even though the scale went down another pound today, it is not the last pound. It WILL go down again in a couple of days.
I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world.
I can't believe we are 7 months out! I think of what was going through my head seven months ago. I was so embarrassed to just exist.
I hated the way I walked. I didn't walk. I waddled.
I hated the way I felt around my husband. Every time he told me I was sexy, I just KNEW he was lying (even though I know NOW he really felt that way).
I got SO tired when I was hiking. I wouldn't let it stop me, but I had to work SO much harder.
I couldn't get in on my horse without the saddle slipping down the side (no matter how tight it was). Even if I did manage not to move the saddle, I couldn't pull my weight up there. Just the other day, I almost flew over the other side of him because I pulled myself up TOO much!
The other teacher I work with is also large. I felt like we were the fat team of teachers on campus.
I worried about getting pregnant. I'm going to start trying next month, and I knew my weight would be an issue...and I would feel like a failure all over again.
ALL that has changed in seven months. I don't worry about going to Disneyland or Six Flags. I know I'll fit in all the rides. I'm going to Washington DC this June. I know I"ll fit in the seat just fine. I know that if I fall off my horse, I won't cause a small earthquake! And I know I"ll be able to get back up! I can shop in the normal parts of certain stores that go up to larger sizes...such as Old Navy, Target, and Walmart. I double-duched with my students. I know that, even though I'm a size 18 now, by next month, these clothes will be too big to wear.
And, I know, that even though the scale went down another pound today, it is not the last pound. It WILL go down again in a couple of days.
I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world.
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