This is my journal towards weight loss. This is where I can come and put everything out there. I have kept my decision to myself. The only person besides my doctor that know is my husband. (I finally told my best friend too!) My kids know I had surgery, but not what kind. They are in jr. high so they are too preoccupied to ask what kind of surgery although they have been treating me great!
I've had goals, met them and made new ones. This is finally becoming a lifestyle for me. It has taken about 3 months for that to happen. I know that I can fall off the wagon if I'm not careful. Luckily the band helps me be careful.
My life is quickly becoming "Band-tastic".
(Sorry, I couldn't help myself!
)
I've had goals, met them and made new ones. This is finally becoming a lifestyle for me. It has taken about 3 months for that to happen. I know that I can fall off the wagon if I'm not careful. Luckily the band helps me be careful.
My life is quickly becoming "Band-tastic".
(Sorry, I couldn't help myself!
)A journal entry from August.....A flashback from the begining.
Posted 02-14-2009 at 11:33 AM by julie.ann
I'm sure this is something you have either heard before or have experienced. I am scared of getting banded. Not the surgery or the change in lifestyle, but....what if I don't succeed? Am I hiding behind my limitations and once I have this there is nothing to hide behind? I have lost weight and gained weight and lost it again and found it plus some. I know how to lose weight. I am looking for the tool to help me make this a change of LIFE.
I am thinking that I don't want to tell anyone about it. I don't want people to say, "Yeah, she had surgery. She HAD to have surgery." I think part of it is that I am embarrased to admit that my weight has started to impact my everyday life. From the rare airplane ride that I have started to dread because of the seats and the seatbelts to the
difficulty with intimacy with my wonderful sexy husband because I feel too self conscious about myself.
I don't want my kids to know. I guess I feel that I have failed on my own and I need help. A lot of help. I feel like a failure.
Oh please don't be mad at me. I don't feel like everyone that has surgery is a failure. In fact I have been very excited since I made the decision to take this big step. I guess it is the ups and downs
of feeling crappy about myself. I recently got together with my sisters and I was the biggest one. Three of us have always been big, but this time I was the grossest. I have been looking at pictures
today. At 5'4" and 275lbs of course I look bad. Sometimes you just don't know until you have to look at it. I dress professionally everyday for work, but I can't even cross my legs. I don't feel comfortable just sitting in a chair unles I have a table in front of me to lean on and hide behind. I do feel that some people are less than welcoming to me because of my weight. I want to change that. I
want to be able to cross my legs. I want to be able to enjoy traveling because the seats are comfortable. I want to put on clothes and feel good. I want to wear a size 16 or less. How sad it that? I
want to wear a size 16. People who wear a size 16 hate that size and feel too big. About 8 years ago I have a thyroid disease and lost weight. I weighed 170 lbs. I desparately want to feel that way again.
I want my husband to want to be with me because he finds my sexy, not just because he loves me. (Wow. How many women say just the opposite!) I want my kids to be proud of me. I want to WANT to be in pictures.
I want this surgery more than anything right now. I want to be proud. I want to be healthy. I want to love what I see in pictures.
Well, I had the surgery at the end of October. I have made this a LIFE change so far. I haven't told anyone really except my doc, my hubby and a friend.
Intimacy is SO MUCH BETTER!!! I look forward to flying in April for business because I don't worry about the seats and seatbelts. I think I am now the SMALLEST sister although I won't see any of them until I visit them this summer and they don't know yet.
I just bought a size 16 pants and I can cross my leggs and frequently do sitting at my desk at work.
I love my band. His name is Band Jovi!
I am thinking that I don't want to tell anyone about it. I don't want people to say, "Yeah, she had surgery. She HAD to have surgery." I think part of it is that I am embarrased to admit that my weight has started to impact my everyday life. From the rare airplane ride that I have started to dread because of the seats and the seatbelts to the
difficulty with intimacy with my wonderful sexy husband because I feel too self conscious about myself.
I don't want my kids to know. I guess I feel that I have failed on my own and I need help. A lot of help. I feel like a failure.
Oh please don't be mad at me. I don't feel like everyone that has surgery is a failure. In fact I have been very excited since I made the decision to take this big step. I guess it is the ups and downs
of feeling crappy about myself. I recently got together with my sisters and I was the biggest one. Three of us have always been big, but this time I was the grossest. I have been looking at pictures
today. At 5'4" and 275lbs of course I look bad. Sometimes you just don't know until you have to look at it. I dress professionally everyday for work, but I can't even cross my legs. I don't feel comfortable just sitting in a chair unles I have a table in front of me to lean on and hide behind. I do feel that some people are less than welcoming to me because of my weight. I want to change that. I
want to be able to cross my legs. I want to be able to enjoy traveling because the seats are comfortable. I want to put on clothes and feel good. I want to wear a size 16 or less. How sad it that? I
want to wear a size 16. People who wear a size 16 hate that size and feel too big. About 8 years ago I have a thyroid disease and lost weight. I weighed 170 lbs. I desparately want to feel that way again.
I want my husband to want to be with me because he finds my sexy, not just because he loves me. (Wow. How many women say just the opposite!) I want my kids to be proud of me. I want to WANT to be in pictures.
I want this surgery more than anything right now. I want to be proud. I want to be healthy. I want to love what I see in pictures.
Well, I had the surgery at the end of October. I have made this a LIFE change so far. I haven't told anyone really except my doc, my hubby and a friend.
Intimacy is SO MUCH BETTER!!!
I look forward to flying in April for business because I don't worry about the seats and seatbelts. I think I am now the SMALLEST sister although I won't see any of them until I visit them this summer and they don't know yet. I just bought a size 16 pants and I can cross my leggs and frequently do sitting at my desk at work.
I love my band. His name is Band Jovi!
Total Comments 8
Comments
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Congrats! ...........lol band jovi.........thats cute.
Best of luck to u!
yoco28Posted 02-14-2009 at 09:45 PM by yoco28
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'Band Jovi' LOL!!! (I've already named mine and don't have it yet.) What a difference 6 months can make! -BGPosted 02-15-2009 at 09:38 AM by Band_Groupie -
Oh I love that name. Iam a huge fan and never miss a concert or a Philly Soul game.Posted 02-15-2009 at 04:48 PM by rorochef - I had the Realize Band put in four days ago. I have to say your intial journal entry is exactly how I feel. I know I shouldn't feel like I am a failure because I couldn't do this on my own. My health was being affected by my lifestyle so I was ready for a change. It took me a year to get approved but I am now on my way to a new life. My twin had the LAP-BAND® done last year and she has lost 90 pounds. I am excited for what is to come!!Posted 02-15-2009 at 04:50 PM by I am in the band
- I LOVE THAT NAME! I'm a huge fan. Never miss a concert or a Philly Soul Game. Had to let you know there ar lots of Band Jovi's out here. Keep up the good work.Posted 02-15-2009 at 04:51 PM by rorochef
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This journal has touched my heart the most. I understand how u feel. I didn't want to tell anyone because what if I gained the weight back later. (Then I really would be a failer) What if I don't lose as fast as the other person and people look at me and think Im losing to slow and being lazy. I have all those thoughts and more. Some people at work know...because I have a coworker that just gotten banded. And another co worker that's gonna get banded. That made me feel better because I see Im not alone. Don't ever think u r a failure. U have done great!!!Posted 02-15-2009 at 06:27 PM by sarahp626 - Oh and by the way.....come up with a cute name for my band. I just brought GPS navaigter and I name her Ge-ge. (I'm tired of getting lost) So i think that is sooooo cute the way u name your band.Posted 02-15-2009 at 06:30 PM by sarahp626
- Hi JulieAnn,
U just described my situation in this post.. I feeling sooo loww.. I am a Postgraduate in HR and Marketing and i don't have a job.. I feel ashamed of myself.. I am sooo fatt.. I am not at all motivated to go on lookout for a job.. When i go for interviews, i see other ladies who are skinny and attaractive and i think to myself that i lost it.. Thou i am far better qualified than them all.. I am not yet banded.. I want to do it.. Ur blog really motivated me and pls pray for me as i have my consultation with the sugeon 2morrow.. I hope he gives me a green signal and fixes the date for my surgery.. Thanxx oce agin Julie Ann for inspiring people like usPosted 07-28-2009 at 01:08 PM by Saf
