Today sucked...work was demanding. Decided to punish myself by eating. Seems like I think eating is a way to unwind or that I deserve it. In the end i'm just doing myself damage.

Today I had:
2 protien shakes
soup
half a tuna sandwinch and a few chips
3 cheese sticks
soup
2 taquitos

After eating all of this I do not feel better, or less stressed, or good about myself. I feel miserable. Like I ruined it once again. Am incapable...

A very philosophical title for a very nonphilosophical post. Sometimes it seems as if I finally have a good fill. But then this evening I ate a whole chicken pot pie. If I had a good fill I shouldn't be able to do that...RIGHT?!? And then suddenly about an hour later my stomach feels tighter again. It's so frustrating. Then you have the question of how much do I eat. My Dr. says to do a 7 day liquid diet. Which sucks but okay say I do it. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET ENOUGH CALORIES ON LIQUIDS?!?...

I have begun to love the idea of journaling. This isn't the first time i've started one so I have my doubts as to if I will keep it up. Been watching DVD's of "DOOGIE HOWSER" and I doubt that i'll have any thoughts as deep as his. Well today i'm feeling kinda bleh. I went and got a fill yesterday and went to a concert and wonder if I over did it. I left feeling bad and this evening I am running a fever. I hope everything is okay.

Now for what i've eaten today. ...