Well, it looks like the surgery is happening for sure on February 20th. I had an appt this morning and they finalized everything. I have my pre-op on Feb 10th and then start my liquid phase that day.
My nerves are everywhere and I've started a long to-do list of what needs to get done before the surgery. This is always the way I cope with things so I even laugh at myself as I write down this list.

I'm happy, excited, scared, and nervous all at the same time.

I'm feeling more hopeful and today will be day 4 of exercise and eating better. I am trying to change my thinking- eating well and exercise is a GOOD thing and not deprivation.

I think this attitude will serve me well when I have the surgery. Now the goal is to actually believe it long term and not in these short stints.

Otherwise, I'm really getting excited and nervous to find out if the surgery will be February 20th. If not, I may want until this summer since we...

I am going to copy/paste an email that I sent to my Monday night group therapy/weight loss class.

Thought I'd give you an update about my LAP-BAND® appt yesterday with Dr. Forgione (the surgeon). Well, the first frustrating part was that I had gained THREE pounds in the last week. He was kind but told me that any more weight gain was unacceptable and that surgery would be cancelled. I was really embarassed and upset but realized that I ate like crap over the weekend and Monday night...

I have an appt on Tuesday and am worried that I've gained a couple of pounds. I'm supposed to lose 14 pounds before the surgery not gain a couple. My weight has held steady since October and I feel that is an accomplishment to tell you the truth. I'm feeling a bit like every big meal could be my last and it's really hard to fight those feelings.
I'm just taking it day by day and really trying hard to do positive self talk.

Well, the time for my probable surgery is getting closer so I thought it would be a great idea to record my thoughts/feelings/emotions as I begin this journey.
It's weird because part of me can't even believe that I am at a point where I need LAP-BAND® surgery. Surely it can't be true but it is and now I've decided to embrace what I hope/believe will make me feel and look like the woman I am on the inside.