Why am I sabotaging myself?

You always read about how other people in your life sabotage your weight loss efforts but what about yourself? My husband just recently brought to my attention how I've slowed down my workout regime. Ever since I started my journey to have the Lap-Band® surgery I've been trying to be more aware of how I am eating and stepping up my workouts. I was doing good until I went into the surgeon's office and found out that I met his requirements for surgery and got my date. Since then I really haven't worked out and when I do I just go at a turtle's pace. This isn't like me. I used to be drenched in sweat when I came from working out now I barely break one. Today I stepped up my workout and thought my legs were going to fall off. This didn't happen a week ago. I'm seriously thinking that maybe since I met my surgeon's goal for my surgery I just thought I didn't have to do anything else. I want to lose as much weight as I can Pre-banded that way I'll already be in losing mode by the time I get banded. I know I can do it I just need to focus on the ultimate goal and that is to get down to a healthier weight and feel sexy again. My confidence is shot even though I do try to bring it back up but it's hard. Oh man it's hard. He's tired of seeing me wallow in self pity and frankly I am too. I need to keep a positive attitude for the future and not look to him or anyone else to motivate me. I and me alone can only do what is necessary to ensure that I am successful with the band. Today is a new day and I know I can do it. I've just got to keep my eye on the prize and motivate myself everyday to work towards that prize.

So far I've lost 20 lbs since starting in May. I know I can lose more. Matter of fact I'm going to jump on the elliptical after work. I just put some new movies/TV shows on my ipod so it's time to catch up on The Boondocks!