2/21/09- Trying not to be bitter with post op complications.
I won't write my snore (zzzzZ) story here about my post op complications with my band and stomach problems, you can read about it in my previous posts for three months, it's all I really talked about and I have to pull myself out of that place and not let it take over my life.

I still believe in the LAP-BAND®®®, just wish I knew what weird ass thing is going on with me, but I need to not be bitter.
I just need...

I've decided I can't do this anymore. This was a mistake (for me). I am so proud of my friends on here for your success, and I still believe the LAP-BAND®® is right for so many people.

It was not for me, and here is a summary I created since I keep getting asked what is wrong (through my posts over the last 17 months) of why I am so miserable and why I am choosing to remove my LAP-BAND®®, even with great weight loss.

Maybe someone looking for an answer to their pain will...

Someone e-mailed me today that is considering backing our of surgery which is taking place in just a few days. She had been following my blog and wanted to know what was wrong, and what I would do if I could go back to a day before surgery, I told her;

"Hi there sweetheart!

I very much regret getting banded, as you can tell from my blogs. If I could go back to the moment where YOU are right now. I would do anything to be there, and I wouldn't do it.
...

I know you're out there.

I'm not crazy.

Someone, somewhere, is going through this too.

I am still so alone in this pain. Where are you? Why haven't you come to the boards to figure out this pain? Where are you! I am tired of being the only one, and feeling insane!

I will keep posting and one day I'll find at least one of you. Gas pains well after surgery near your belly button. I will keep looking for you, and when I find you we will figure...

I wish more of my blogs were post-op. Maybe I should spend a night where I simply copy and paste all the terrified posts I've made into a blog.

I just don't want to scare anyone away from banding because I know it does work well for so many people. But I just need to get it off my chest, I need to talk about it.

I need to talk about how I've never been pain free. It started right after surgery, nearly 17 months ago. I can't escape it. My surgeon can't figure it out....