It never occured to me that I had changed that much. But I had. I saw a picture of me at Christmas, a month after my band surgery..I was so swelled up! I can't believe that I hadn't noticed it as time has went by. But you know what? It sure was a pleasant surprise. I don't think I'll be hiding so much from the camera anymore.

I was really loving this band a couple of months ago! It has been six weeks since I have lost any more weight. I have went back on my liquid diet for three days..nothing. I increased my exercise workout..nothing. I changed the foods I was eating( more greens, less meat, more protein shakes)...nothing. My doc told me on my last visit that he doesn't see me losing much more weight with the band and that the rest would be up to me. How can I lose if it just refuses to come off no matter what I do?...

My hubby said this the other night when I decided to eat some popcorn and a handful of grapes before I went to bed. I had gotten hungry, so instead of making myself a meal or eating cookies out of the cookie jar, I made this particular food choice. He must have thought that I had fallen off the weight wagon because he hasn't been seeing me eat like that since before the band. My goodness, those words sure did hurt. All the sudden, I was fat again. In my mind, for a millisecond, I was that insecure...

March 27, 2008. I got bad news. The rest is up to me. Totally me. Doc feels like the band has helped me lose any "excess" and the rest of my weight will be lost by sheer determination. The band will help me stay on track but I am going to have to exercise harder, walk farther, eat healthier and make good choices from now on. I have a feeling this isn't going to be easy. I've not giving up yet. I've gotten this 30 pds off of me and I want another 30 gone as well. I shall fight this battle...

The only time that you would feel "good" is when you were asleep. When I went to bed in the past, I thought about how big I was. When I awoke, I instantly thought, I'm still fat. If wishing could melt pounds, I wouldn't be in Lap Band Talk today. It has been a slow process since November but I am very slowly seeing results. I'm grateful for every pound lost. I woke up this morning and told myself, "you are smaller than you were". I guess being awake isn't so bad after all....