I have a date 3/12 and am looking forward to a change in my life. I was recently frightened with a hospitalization not sure what I had. It made me realize that life is short and I want to live the next half thinner and healthier. I want to be able to get a good night sleep. I have severe sleep apnea and never sleep well. I want to have a summer to wear shorts and work in the yard again. I want to be a normal size and not the "jolly" fat person that so many think of me as. When you...

Today is January 9th

I had my psych appt and cardiology appt today. Things are moving along. Next week alot of testing for cardiology. I'm getting closer. I feel huge but confident about my decision. I hope this tool will allow me to become the person I know I am and give me the energy I want to have. Lugging all this weight around is tiring and frustrating. People who haven't had a weight problem think this is just a mattre of self control, they don't understand that this isn't...

I feel so fat. Just plain ugly. I look in the mirror when I shop and can't believe that is me. I don't want to be intimate, don't want to shop and feel that my weight controls my life at times. So what do I do....eat more. People look at me strange. I know when I was thinner everyone treated me differently. I don't need to be a size 2. I just want to buy clothes at a regular store. I want to feel good again. I want to have energy. I want to care about myself. I have cared for everyone else all my...