I get a new doctor and he does not treats me fair.

He agrees to give me ultram for back pain, I dont have to lose weight.

And pretty much I dont.

He checks me for diabeties and I have it.

HUMMM I wonder why that witch never checked it.???

With this doctor, I have a new phobia called NEVEr tell the doctor your in pain. Hide it at all costs.

There would be days at the doctors where I would get this pain in my back...

Soo..

One day I am sent to a vocational doctor.. and I take the chance to run by her my proposal for ultram and how It will help me get my life back and lose weight and such,

She thinks its a GREAT idea. But she cant prescibe them due to the ins rules.

She has examined me thoughoughly.. she has talked to me and touched and checked me more at that time than my regular doctor ever did.

I tell her what my doctor has done. I cry knowing she will...

I learned to NEVER give up hope.

There are things in life you may not even know exist that can help you.

Recall I had come to the conclusion about a year before that I could never lose weight on my own cuz My body was in so much pain that excersize was out and life was just too hard. I couldnt do it when it was alot easier. I had NEVEr admitted defeat about anything before. I had to. Once I did it became alot easier to live with myself.

So.. It happened...

I first heard about the gastric bypass in the year 99 or 00.. It was on Montel. I knew it was the one thing that could save me, the only thing.

About a year earlier I had gave up the notion that I could ever lose wieght on my own. I hadnt stopped trying, but because I was becoming worse off physically, I knew I would not be able to do it on my own.

I needed medical intervention. I knew it. I now knew it existed.

So I began research. It was like 50,000$ and...

OMG
I made this huge post.
Full of the worst
and its gone
Oh well
it was nice to get out