My weight hasn't changed all week, which considering the amount of calories I am consuming seems unbelievable. So getting dressed this morning delivered a much needed NSV. My "skinny" jeans - hardly skinny but jeans that have never fit well - feel pretty darn good and a shirt that I tried on a week ago suddenly has room to spare. The shirt really threw me because I had tried it on just a bit ago and decided it made me look pregnant. Now, it is loose in the stomach and doesn't leave an...

It's funny how when I start to focus on my weight and losing it, I also start looking at my appearance and making changes. The nail polish comes out, the tweezers go to work, even tubes of self-bronzer, liquid eyeliner, and exfoliant find there way back into my life. Instead of buying Real Simple magazine, I pick up Vogue or Elle. Instead of searching out comfy sweat pants, I'm looking for fitted jackets and fancy bras. I wonder why, for me, the girly girl side of my personality really doesn't come...

I have a long way to go to get down to my "goal" weight, but I have a list of things I'd like to do that will be so rewarding. Here they are:
1) Get down below 300. My first priority
2) Wear the cute SJP Bitten jeans hanging in my closet as motivation
3) Cross my legs easily and comfortably
4) Buy bras at Victoria's Secret
5) Take up new exercise activities - running, bellydancing, ballet aerobics; get active and like it.
6) Go skiing
7) Be smaller...

Yesterday, I was hungry. I mean full fledged, nauseous from the rumbling, hungry. Nothing seemed to help. Not protein shakes, not yogurt, not popsicles, not soup, not juice, not a latte - nothing. I was so sick by the end of the day from not eating something solid that all I could do was lay down on the sofa and wish I had never had the surgery. Not even a week since I received the band and I felt so low I didn't know if I could get up. Of course, factor in the fact that my grandmother's house burned...

Physically, I'm feeling great (only three days out from surgery) but mentally, I had a hard time last night. I started doubting again. I wondered if I rushed into this decision. My hubby valiantly tried to reassure me but honestly, I was scared. Scared of what, I really can't say. I guess I was afraid that I would have a bunch of complications and need surgery again. Or that I would be some kind of freak, having to eat jello the rest of my life. I know none of this is likely but Fear and I have...