Kate Eryn

I've been saying for several weeks now that the food bender is over. It wasn't, but I believe that if you say it enough, it becomes true. I meant it every time. And finally, it is TRUE! I am officially back on track, my loves.

I read this LBT Mag article about guidelines for the band, and boy I really have been flinging myself off the band-wagon. I've been drinking while I ate. I'd eat too long. I'd eat emotionally. I'd tell myself I need the calories but then eat too much of it. But...

I stand in front of a mirror in a small exam room around 3:00 pm, nude under a cotton robe. This place has to be fancy, I think to myself; Normally I was handed a stiff tissue paper smock. Even the floor here is carpeted, and not the cold linoleum of so many doctor's offices. It took three hours to get here because I got horridly lost trying to make the other surgeon's appointment, which needed to be canceled. I am a little road weary and feel ridiculously comforted by these small details.
...

My realignment is just about done, and I'm so glad. This weird penchant for losing control and letting my bad choices rule me is getting old, fast.

I have fill scheduled for Friday and I'm going to go, regardless of how my band feels. My liquid diet didn't work out yesterday, because I was tired and lazy and didn't do a damned thing around the house. I finished feeling sorry for myself and fairly bounced out of the bed this morning.

It always makes me smile when I'm doing...

This week-and-a-half-long food bender is finally over. Thank GOD. I ripped ff my pyjamas this morning and said "OK, we're done wallowing, let's deal with what we did this week and make a plan."

One pound.

I only gained one pound??

I even had Taco Bell last night! Good God! And I bet it's the salt that's keeping me at 194.

My body keeps giving me gifts. The band is really amazing. Had I done this kind of bender before the band, I'd...

It's funny. When I first decided/was approved for the band, I couldn't contain myself. I wanted the new life immediately, I wanted it now now now and I could not stop thinking about what life would be like 2, 4 years from having the band inserted.

Looking back at my journey, I can see the whole bigger lesson in patience. It happened in its own time, my wishing and obsessing did nothing to hurry it, only making it seem longer.

Now I'm facing plastic surgery....facing it...