You guys have me laughing my butt off...there surely is no cure for stupid, but sometimes I still wish there was an easy cure for being overweight. I will not say fat!! I was chubby in middle school, wich wasn't helped by the fact that my mother loves short hair - as in Peter Pan - so I looked like a boy with a bowl cut...I've finally forgiven my mother for that (ha) but I think my family really had a lot to do with it. I was raised to clean my plate and to eat dessert after every meal, and my father had gastric bypass 2 yrs. ago,so there you go...but really, I think it's a combo of genetics (my whole family plus some extended family are large) and psychological stuff. I also am on medication for depression, which my mother and grandmother also had. I was thin in highschool and the beginning of college (until 22yrs old) but I still thought I was fat and felt huge next to other girls. I got married at 22, had my beautiful son at 23, and now am 25 and 243lbs. on surgery day. I felt I had a license to eat when I was pregnant, and eat I did - Popeye's baby! Olive Garden! yum....ok, I'm back. Anyway, I was somewhat confused after the birth of my son when I looked like I was still pregnant (you mean your body doesn't just shrink back to pre-pregnancy status?) and I was depressed, I probabaly had post-partum but never checked into it...so, let more eating ensue. I lost weight briefly, went down to 188, then right back to 240. Doesn't help that my husband is ridiculously handsome (sorry, but he is) works out everyday and can eat a barge full of food and not gain a pound of fat. Just nice muscles. Jerk. So, by my joking thru this, which is why people don't ever know I'm battling depression, I basically am saying that I think a lot (most) of it had to do with me, my image of myself, unhappiness with myself, etc. Someone said earlier "I'm not miserable because I'm fat, I'm fat because I'm miserable" and that struck a chord with me. So, I pretty much dislike myself and don't think I am worth the time and energy it takes to eat right and exercise. Not to mention, I really enjoy food! It tastes good! My father is a cook, the family I nanny for always cooks excellent food...and I love Chevy's mexican food, pasta, chinese...I just love food. And food apparently loves me back. So pretty much, that is how I ended up where I was before surgery. Well, it's been a full 2 weeks, I've lost 6lbs. and although excited, I also am sad that it is not more. But nothing worth having comes easy, right? Hope this touched some of you out there....and somebody feels the same as me. Let's keep our heads up!

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Carrie Moore :p
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once!
banded 7/14/05 (7 months ago)
243/195.5/150






Mini-Goal: 180