So I had my second fill and am now up to 2.5 cc in a 4 cc band. My first fill did not provide me any lasting restriction at all. I had my second fill, and maybe it is just early and the restriction is higher but I am actually upset and depressed that I cannot eat much. Which is completely stupid because thats why I got the LAP-BAND® to begin with!

I feel like a big loser for being sad over food. Yesterday I got a chopped beef sandwich and a potatoe. I knew I would not be able to eat much of it but was determined to savor what I could eat of it. After about 5 bites of potatoe and three bites of my sandwich I was sick for half an hour at the mall. I had to leave my oldest daughter to watch over my three younger kids while I ran to the bathroom sliming horribly. The whole way to the bathroom there were two bone skinny teenagers taking their time getting to the restrooms. I just knew I was going to puke on them and feel even worse about myself.

I came home in a really bad mood and it took me a while to understand why. I feel like I am in mourning over food. I am ashamed to be feeling this way. No one else would understand me sharing these feelings. I just feel so stupid for being sad that i cant eat much. I think maybe I also feel a little frustrated because I am trying to learn how to eat with my band so i dont get sick.

I am really considering going to a monthly support group my doctors office has but am afraid it wil be weird if only a few people show up to them.

Thanks for letting me rant. How long did you mourn food? Tell me this goes away!

__________________
5/23/07 Banded! Dr. Marsden, Ft. Worth
2.7 cc/in 4 cc band (4 fills)
myspace.com/bandmay07 Add me as a friend!


Click on above ticker to see how long it took me to get to certain weights!