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MarySue33 · 03-17-2007, 03:08 PM

I think you are overreacting. Quite honestly, the fact that you took such offense to this was amazing to me.

First of all, I doubt that if he honestly believed you and your husband were racists he would have ever even extended the invitation. Nobody would want to put their child in an awkward situation like that.

Secondly, while you were not there to hear the comment firsthand, maybe there is enough underlying racism at work that he felt the need to clarify. To be frank with you, (and this is now showing that we all do a little bit of stereotyping, whether we like to believe that we do or not) as soon as I saw that you were in the South, I could easily understand why he responded that way.

My friends and professional colleagues who are black have shared with me some of the subtle and not so subtle things that have happened to them -- even now in the 21st century -- that we who have not been in their shoes could not even imagine would still be happening. While we like to think that we are more enlightened than our ancestors were, racism is very much alive and well in 2007. It is just often veiled or under the surface. I asked a friend of mine not that long ago how different it is for him to be a successful, black professional man than it is for me to be a successful, white professional woman. Some of the things he has shared with me would amaze you.

My advice would be not to confront. I think that when people try to 'over-explain' a situation, all it does is to make matters worse. In my opinion, the time to have made it clear that your husband was really asking about the denomination would have been at the time they first discussed the invitation.

If you go back and push the issue, I know that if I were him, my thoughts would be: "Me thinketh the lady protesteth too much." I think it would only make things more awkard for everyone involved -- including your husband and your son.

Let it go...