I told this to someone else the other day and they said I was ful of crap, so i wanna post it here...

thank you (I already posted here, this is just one point of many)

I had all the food I wanted all my life (not healthy either) untill I was 12,

From 12 to 16 I struggled in these kinds of ways: (parents divorced, mom became a crack head)

Sometimes our only meal was at school, once we missed the bus and walked like 10 miles to school in time for lunch.

We lived in a condemed house for 4 to 6 months??? (in secret with no electricity) and I remember having ONE meal there, (besides school) it was one pan of stewed tomatoes for one adult and 4 people.. IT tasted so good, I thought I would die of pleasure.

There was this mint Jelly there too.. a tiny jar and I put my finger in it for a tiny taste as to not show I had got into it.

One time, (totally different place).. All we had was a turkey and a jar of grape jelly for the longest time and I was not enrolled in school..
I cut a chunk of uncooked turkey and microwaved it until it turned white instead of pink.. then I ate it with grape jelly. I always took small peices affraid I would waste it.. THEN it got to smelling so bad my mom threw it out one day like it was no big deal.. and I enrolled in school just to eat.

I began to shoplift food in that next summer from little stores..
Sometimes I worked at a hotdog stand and I got food from him. (a phedifile, I was 14 here)
But when I didnt get food cuz it rained (coastal town) and the stand wasnt open or some other slut took over the job for a few days or week..
Then I began to shoplift junk food.

Then my best friend began to shrival away. She was a runaway (as I was, egven though we were at my moms) and I didnt know what was wrong with her, but she was going INSANE and I had to get to town and get her food or get it from perverts in my neighborhood anyway I could,.. this lasted a month till she passed out and went to ER and I never saw her again. (well I did once a few years later)
She had some problem where she needs like 4000 calories a day just to maintain her 100 pounds.. and no one ever knew it till she ran a way and didnt get enough food.. I always felt extreme guilt over this.. I was her everything..

Later.. I got to live with my dad and even though he WASNT a crack head, he didnt have the money to feed us and did all he could but just didnt realize it wasnt enough I guess.. I would walk llike 12 miles to the nearest store and shoplift a huge peice of chocolate and eeat it all..

These times I shoplifted the junk foods, I thought they were GOLD..
I never knew it was the meat and cheese that was the Good stuff. lol

WHEn I ate this junk It was SWEET salvation.,.. and I think I am stilll stuck on that feeling although I can eat anything I want.

I dont think thats crap..

I think thats good food disorders in the making.

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