You are not a failure. Please do not be so hard on yourself. It is amazing how hard (and downright mean) we can be to ourselves- you would never call anyone else a failure!!!!! Surely you know that namecalling isn't a motivator. I completely understand why you would be afraid to get another fill. I wish you only the best and try and focus on yourself rather than what other people might be thinking- or that you think others are thinking but likely are not!!!! Take care. I have heard several stories of people having trouble as you have and being so fear stricken they stop following up with their dr. and time just keeps passing. Please follow up so that you can continue to utilize this tool that you have be given to help you reach your goals. Ya know what- the whole one year milestone is significant but I've never seen it in writing that the one year is the end all/be all- you can continue to work towards your goal and celebrate your 18 month bandiversary or your 2 year bandiversary just the same!!!!