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Originally Posted by Sooverit!  Hello everyone:
I guess this is a typical case of be careful what you wish for, for when you get it, you may still not be happy. My surgery date is scheduled for December 2nd 2008. I've been wishing, praying, hoping to be able to get banded with the LAP-BAND® for over 2+ years now. Recently everything fell into place as if by a miracle. Money I didn't know I had turned up in a hidden bank CD where the bank didn't have my new address. (for real.. not from a crazy email from Nicaragua :-)) I found a low BMI study near my home that accepts patients under 40BMI and the price is affordable! I found a great follow up center with caring wonderful people. I couldn't ask for more.
Why then am I so depressed? I think finding a solution to one problem only relieves that pain then switch, focus moves to next or real"problem". I am so afraid that I will miss one of my only friends left....food. I realize at night while my husband is watching sports/financial news with the remote in one hand while his laptop in his lap watching like a prey animal for bad news. I am in the other rooms of the house escaping with a book or TV and you guess it my friend food. I am so afraid of losing this loyal friend who I know eventually will ask for my health in return for friendship. Currently I'm not working....I switched careers at age 49!! ...what was I thinking. I am bored and lonely lately and dealing with a puberty stricken 12 year old girl who hates me most of the time. This girl, my dd, was a living doll who idolized me up until last year. I probably spent too much time making her life wonderful while I forgot about mine. Oh and my parents and sibs are gone, friends moved away, I'm an older mom and no longer a person everyone wanted to be friends with...being older and overweight doesn't help matters, I have no one with kids to bounce things off of. On top of it all I'm in the throws of change of life hormones....up, down, up, down. I know my life was pretty cush for the past 7 years so I guess I'm due for a new test. Thanks for letting me ramble and keep me in your prayers- just kidding. Just thanks for letting me take up word space.
With hope and gratitude to all,
M
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M,
I too feel similar. I started a thread wednesday, "what is wrong with me"? I received some really good advice. So, take a look at that thread and see what you think. Dont give up all hope. You have waited soooo long for this surgery. Once you have the surgery, you WILL start to lose the weight, and I think you will have a whole different outlook on life.
